Up and down past couple days. Let’s chat

I’ve been on a thought-spiral, rumination loop for the past couple days or so. I went to bed last night feeling fine, coming off the day/day before of constant rumination, then I woke up this morning feeling fine, and then as the morning has gone on, I’ve fell back into a rumination loop about harm ocd and relationship ocd. I also feel sometimes like things need to be ‘just right’. Just venting and hoping to connect with others for supporting each other.

Dcressman

Date posted: 5d

I have trouble with rumination too if you can figure out a way to stop it please let me know

alan87

Date posted: 5d

@Dcressman I sure will lol. I ruminate on past wrongdoings, confessing, what if I’m a bad person, what if I lose my mind and hurt someone I love, am I really in love. All those kinds of thoughts. How about you?

Anonymous

Date posted: 5d

@alan87 Completely relate. I seem to be oscillating between all of these mistakes I made as a teenager and whether I am a bad person/will face consequences in the future. I am spiraling a lot about my family and whether they will be ok

alan87

Date posted: 5d

@Anonymous I understand. What a terrible disorder we have. I wish it would just go away, that I could move on from the thoughts, from the past, not think about it and be who I am and have been growing toward today for the past few years

Dcressman

Date posted: 5d

@alan87 I keep wishing that I could go back to a time only as short as three years ago when I was so much happier and didn’t worry about things, but I know that’s impossible that we have to move forward in life and try and be happier

alan87

Date posted: 5d

@Dcressman Same here, just a few years ago I didn’t worry about or ruminate on the things I do now. But I also would not have come back to Jesus and my faith since then, and been on a journey to better myself as a person. I’ve taken steps to be more kind, I’ve been going to church every Saturday for the past two years. So there’s that. I just get stuck on my past mistakes and ruminating on those.

potatoo

Date posted: 5d

rumination really is the worst, wish i could just turn it off so it leaves me alone lol. Dropping a lil comment to show my support

alan87

Date posted: 5d

@potatoo Thanks @Potatoo. It’s like one thought begets another thought, and seeking an answer for every discernment. Well this means that, but what if it really means that? Another layer that adds complexity is my faith in Jesus and how that is with my disorder.

Jthomp

Date posted: 5d

Rumination has literally been my worst enemy. I had a major life event happen and that’s when I discovered my OCD. I’m obsessed with the fact that “I’m in trouble” even when I haven’t done anything. A fear that someone is out to get me 24/7. So then I ruminate and spiral for days. It’s absolute hell.

alan87

Date posted: 5d

I can relate, major life event happened and then the pandemic which exacerbated my existing fear of being in public for fear of a violent event, and then here I am now ruminating about things I regret from a couple years ago. It has morphed over time, but the most recent theme is the ruminating on guilts and confessing. It is a terrible disorder.

sisi5

Date posted: Yesterday

I have religious ocd i think no one have same as me and lately it been affecting my mind and peace its like i should pray certain way certain time and i should clean any statues in my home for Jesus or Mary and if i see a reel and i skip it i feel so much guilt and stressed also lately a lot of religious question coming in my head doubting and i keep feeling sad and like i want to sleep to run away

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