During my last session we talked about a trip I’m on and all the things that could go wrong. Getting sick was one of the things and that’s exactly what happened. Here I am 3 days in to an 8 day trip unable to sleep and breathe and buying Musinex from a gas station. Exactly what I feared would happen ….
Sorry to hear that! I've been there too, and it's no fun. I hope you heal up quick!
Just because it went “wrong” doesn’t mean that was caused by your anticipation of it. Causation doesn’t equal correlation here. I have an immense fear of being in public and getting sick ever since the pandemic. But if I can be encouraging for you, you’ll be recovered here soon and back at it in no time. Feel better soon and do whatever makes you comfortable on your trip. Maybe that’s renting a movie and eating some soup.
@alan87 I needed that reminder. I said the same thing in that session: I said “correlation does not equal causation.” Thank you! The trip is quite involved with very little down time and I’m doing my best - I’m also trying to remind myself that’s all I can do.
@Taylor F. Exactly! Plus you have your community here to push each other through! I hope you’re feeling better today! I’m going through a rollercoaster ride of feeling good half the day, then going through a bout of rumination/compulsion and anxiety. Been on repeat for about 4-5 days now.
@alan87 Yes. I haven’t decided if posting here is a way of seeking reassurance or not and if it’s a positive thing for me though. I struggle with that. I hope you are doing better, those loops are no fun, but I can say I do understand - unfortunately… I try and positively reinforce myself for the good in each day even if there is bad times or moments. Small victories. Tonight is the last night of my trip. It’s been pretty hard, but the last two nights especially. It’s a different hotel every night and I have a really hard time with contamination and bugs. I’ve already gotten sick, and tonight there was a bug in the bathtub - so I’m spiraling. 🌀 I want to go home, but I’m terrified I’m going to be bringing unwanted things from hotels with me. We don’t stay at “shady” or unknown hotel brands, but I’m always so paranoid.
@Taylor F. Sorry for the late reply. I struggle with that too, if I’m reassurance seeking or not. It certainly is a positive in our intention to connect and help others. As for the hotel and contamination, my spouse is the same way in a way, definitely nothing wrong for wanting or expecting a clean hotel room. As for bringing unwanted things from hotels, I think not that it has been a couple days, you’re doing fine and nothing came with you! That’s a win! And it had nothing to do with the worrying or compulsions to prevent it from happening. How are you doing now that you’re back?
@alan87 Thanks for checking in…. I am happy to be home, still getting over the cold. I think I’m doing okay. I’ve started to unpack, but not completely. Which is better than I usually do - sometimes I’ll leave all the bags in the trunk for DAYS. And honestly, if I didn’t have a motivator, they’d probably still be in there but we had to take that car to the shop and it forced me to take everything out of it. I’ve been obsessively thinking about all the things I struggled with and blaming myself. I had a session today and we talked about self-compassion, but that’s hard for me!
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