Christian ocd

I had a Christian ocd coaching/anxiety the other day but I feel bad cuz I feel like I’m searching and searching for answers if the same questions I have but when I should really look in the Bible and I’m looking to all other sources for help cuz I feel like no one truly understands my topics like they do but I feel like so heavy about them that they must be true and that you only find true satisfaction in Jesus but I always feel stressed and when I try to do fun daily things with my family or making plans I feel like I’m running away from my problems and don’t know how to have a normal balance cuz even when I’m doing fun things I’m stressed. And I’m trying to find comfort in my family and activities. And I’m not spending enough time with God I’m always rushing everything and wondering what I’m doing next and tmr and God says not to worry about that and then will try to go day by day but I feel like I can’t ever rest or be present in the moment cuz I just love to go go go. Always so nervous and I love the be still and know I’m God but it’s like I’m never still. And I’m afraid of so many Christian things but I can’t just ignore truths I’m afraid of or that are happening in real life

Rocman3905

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 18h

This may sound counter intuitive to you. But perhaps what it means to trust God in this season is to trust the counseling you are receiving!

alan87

Date posted: 16h

I struggle with this as well. I have all the Christian teachings. I have my understanding, of course there is the “do not rely on your own understanding” verse but I feel like the things that seem right are what will hurt me and my relationships. What is God and what is my ruminations/compulsions, what are signs and what are not. What is the enemy and what is not.

G C

Date posted: 16h

@alan87 yeah. Then I’ll scroll on really deep preachers and evangelists and then spiral cuz I don’t have that deep theology or understand but also have a lot of knowledge and truth then I worry I’m only following half truths and afraid I’ve never been transformed or changed and then how can I have like a fun life and enjoy like traveling and going to rodeos or just normal like events and then be spiritual all the time without thinking about Jesus. Like he should be apart of everything but if I do something else I feel like I’m taking my eyes off him and distracting myself then after it’s over I’ll go back into my spiral hole

alan87

Date posted: 16h

@G C I understand what you mean with half truths. I love my Christian faith and following Jesus, but I feel like because I haven’t confessed wrongdoings to my partner or other people that I am only shying away from Jesus. God wants me to confess this or that to family or others. I don’t think God would have me do something that would mentally or spiritually harm someone else. That kind of theme.

G C

Date posted: 16h

@alan87 Like just believing like something wrong mixed with truth like how the devil disguises himself as a spirit of light. Or like believing things I want to believe if I don’t follow something exactly how it says. Then I spiral that I’m not denying my flesh enough or I’m following my own desires. But the faith isn’t set my rules. But I feel like if I wear like a tanktop and some shorts that’s a sin in the summer cuz I’m not being modest or bc I feel confident or In swimsuits I feel guilty or if I eat for fun then that’s gluttonous if I get excited to have a treat. Now I’m just yapping but I feel guilty after everything I do so I feel like I should resist everything and if I don’t then I’m not denying my flesh

G C

Date posted: 16h

@alan87 Same today I’ve been thinking of past specific things that I don’t feel like I truly repented for bc I wasn’t honest

G C

Date posted: 19h

Then I ask God the same things every single day but struggle with the same loops and problems and it’s like I’m not doing anything to change and he’s probs like your not even surrendering or wanting my help. And Im being self sufficient if I keep failing.

G C

Date posted: 19h

The I’m embarrassed to be telling someone all my struggles or loops like they aren’t God and it feels like I’m sinning

G C

Date posted: 18h

Then I spiral on what if I’m still struggling cuz I’m not doing what God asked me to do. And it makes me want to stop talking to everyone around me cuz they are Christian or whatever but they don’t really understand in depth and if I told them they would think I’m crazy but I rather be Crazy for God than not. Then I don’t know I’m being extreme but sometimes people won’t understand what you’re doing and you shouldn’t care what they think but if they think I’m being too extreme I’m just trying to help but what if I’m not extreme and I just need to be strong for God regardless of what they think. And see the whole reeks of how to do this biblically and how to this and it’s true but i don’t want to watch them.

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