🙍🏻‍♀️.

I recently started setting boundaries in my life, and I’ve noticed that I used to take many things personally, especially because my family was involved in a lot of areas of my life. I also realized that a big part of my anger came from not having clear boundaries between myself and others. I’ve also ended some relationships because certain people didn’t understand or respect the boundaries I was trying to set. Lately, I feel like I’m no longer seeking acceptance as much as I am seeking respect. However, sometimes I worry that I’ve gone too far in the opposite direction. There are moments when I wonder if setting these boundaries is making me selfish. There is also an older woman at my workplace. She is a good person and has helped me a lot, but I sometimes feel that she interferes in the way I speak or express myself. I’ve been thinking about keeping the relationship more surface-level, but I’m not sure if that’s the right choice. When I’m with her, I sometimes feel like I’m losing my sense of identity, and she often gets upset with me, which leaves me confused about the relationship. Since I started setting boundaries, I feel like I’ve lost many relationships. I used to be very social and had a large circle of friends, but now I sometimes feel like I don’t have a close friend. So I keep wondering: am I setting too many boundaries, or am I simply no longer accepting relationships that don’t respect my needs? Has anyone experienced something similar? What are your thoughts?

littleengine...

Date posted: 4d

Hello! Setting up boundaries is not selfish at all. You are protecting your peace and learning to take control. Boundaries help us maintain balance. I myself have started to set up boundaries. It can feel weird at first, almost like saying no to something you originally would have said yes to. I myself have lost a few friendships because of boundaries. However looking back and analyzing these “friendships”, I realized they weren’t the friends I needed. Sometimes you have to take a stand in order to see what’s beneath you. I’ll admit I am incredibly lonely and long for larger social circles. Then I think back that in those circles, I was the designated clown who cracked jokes and made everyone laugh. After a long time I realized they kept me around so they can laugh at me not with me. So I set up boundaries. I voiced my opinions, stopped answering calls and one by one; they showed their true colors. As for finding new friends, I find it so hard. I’m a 25yr old female who longs for a few good friends but I find myself scared of letting people in after past interactions. My advice to you is to find one good person who values the same things you do. Find a person who listens and encourages you to advocate for yourself. One genuine friend is better than a group who won’t respect your boundaries. Be proud of your boundaries!

Anonymous💓

Date posted: 4d

Thank you for your support. I also lost my friends, even though we had been childhood friends. I feel lonely at times, but I know this is ultimately better for me. I was often made fun of for not setting boundaries, but I’m now learning to value respect over acceptance. I truly appreciate your words and everything you’ve shared. You are very strong, and I hope you find a good and genuine friend as well. Wishing you all the best🌷💓

littleengine...

Date posted: 4d

@Anonymous💓 You are so very welcome! Thank you as well! I too lost a childhood bestfriend and it was extremely painful at first. But after growth and new people coming into my life showing me what it means to be seen and heard; I realized I was just another person she had to rely on when she needed food and moral support. There are good people out there I believe. Maybe they’re hiding under a rock waiting for us to find them. But I believe they’re out there waiting for us. You got this, stay strong💚🏆

Anonymous💓

Date posted: 4d

@littleenginebigheart I understand. Maybe if I work on myself more, I will attract better people into my life, and that’s what I will try to do. Thank you, you made me feel better. I appreciate your message and your support💓

krapnek02

Date posted: 4d

that’s really great that you’ve been able to set boundaries ! i have experienced the same thing about losing friends due to boundaries. i don’t think that makes us bad, rather, more in tune with “protecting our peace”.

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