Fixation of my own consciousness?

First let me start this off, I mean this in a philosophical way (yes I know I’m a real person). Recently I had the thought (maybe time just noticing the realization) of my own consciousness. My own self. Like, I see through my own eyes. I can’t see my face without a mirror, because I am me. Others can’t hear my thoughts. I can talk to myself in my head. I can choose what I say in my head. I’m sure everyone who’s ever lived went through a realization like this, but my OCD/Anxiety mind just keeps looping it over and over in my head until it freaks me out, where I start thinking deeper “how would I really know other people do the same realization”? Anyone else experience this?? Feeling better the brain loop is almost over lol

b415

Date posted: 14h

I’m really struggling with something similar right now. For me, I can’t stand how uncanny and weird time and space are. At one moment I’m in my house and it’s quiet. I can close my eyes and imagine that later tonight I’ll be at a loud concert. The idea of being able to move across time and space like that just seems so astonishing and weird. It freaks me out. It’s just a mystery that it makes me feel like I must be going crazy. Like I must be in a simulation, or in psychosis or something. Logically I know this is an extremely “normal” fact about reality, but I just can’t settle with it.

kwilliam64

Date posted: 14h

@b415 You’re not going crazy. You’re doing just what you say, imagining. You can imagine anything. Bc it is you who is in control. Our OCD minds just loop it and loop it in our mind and it makes it uncomfortable!! Now I could use some reassurance too lol

b415

Date posted: 14h

@kwilliam64 Yeah, that’s exactly right. Logically I know this “normal”. Looking at your profile, it looks like we have the exact same sub types and themes 😅

XwitnessX

Date posted: 13h

@b415 You’re definitely not alone in this experience! Things can be so trippy to think about. I’ve felt this way my whole life. And it’s only until recently that I’m finding the language and realizing so much of what I’ve felt my whole life isn’t me being “weird” or “crazy” as I’ve felt led on to believe. Our minds just work a little differently and that realization is a trip in itself… but it’s our own journey we’re all on and you’re figuring it all out in your own time 🙌

CarinaW

Date posted: 16h

I used to do a lot of that kind of stuff as a kid!

kwilliam64

Date posted: 14h

@CarinaW How did you get over it? Just consider it a realization and keep going on? Just stop thinking about it / looping it in your mind?

XwitnessX

Date posted: 14h

@kwilliam64 I don’t know if it’s something we actually “get over.” I think get over in the sense where it becomes manageable to deal with. Reaching a point where the thoughts come and the thoughts go. It’s how we engage with the thoughts that matters. If we allow it to loop it will continue to loop. With more practice the noise gets quiet. And sometimes sparks can occur, and we take the tools and move forward, always learning new tools along the way. But this is just my two cents from my own journey 🙌✨

CarinaW

Date posted: 10h

@kwilliam64 I think my OCD just naturally started moving on to other themes. It looks way different now at age 40 than it did then.

kwilliam64

Date posted: 3h

@XwitnessX How have you managed it

XwitnessX

Date posted: 16h

What I think is crazy is I find most people do NOT have this level of awareness. They just go through life with no thoughts of their own mortality and place in the world. Like living on autopilot. On one hand, I envy to live that ignorantly. On the other, as hard as my brain can make my day to day I am grateful to see the world through the lense that I do. It’s helped me build empathy and compassion in a world that lacks so much of it. It’s definitely creepy to think about the fact that we’re thinking and so on. I believe it’s called “metacognition.” Regardless, be gentle to yourself in this process while you figure everything out 🙌✨

kwilliam64

Date posted: 14h

@XwitnessX I’m basically writing this for some closure, that it’s normal to have these thoughts, not in the sense that I mean the majority of people, but in the sense that other people have too. I guess that means you’re agreeing with me in the sense you’ve had them too? I just don’t want to think I’m going crazy

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