I caught my husband watching porn again. I can't do this mentally anymore. Hes made me feel so ugly. Im not I can't do this anymore my ocd and mental is worse because of him I want to leave but I can't. Idk what to do anymore
you deserve someone who took a covenant with you seriously. someone fully committed to you. you’re not ugly, he just has a problem but it’s not your responsibility to stick it out.
I'm very sorry you're feeling that way :( I hope things get better for you. Whatever obstacles you're going through- it's not permanent. There's always ways to improve your life.
Sorry im just hurting so bad 😢 ik i have to move on but im stuck. I've tried but there's no help there's more he won't keep a job for more than six months been homeless because of him I have no car because of him. But yet its all my mental fault.... sorry I just need to vent
@Karb101 Sometimes it helps to vent and I hope you find the support you need! hugs*🙌
@Karb101 No need to be sorry :) We all go through hard times and need to express our emotions. It’s also not all your fault that you’re suffering- relationships take two people and if someone else is bringing you down then that’s not healthy for you
If this is an unhealthy situation you need to step away from, sending the best vibes your way for the strength you need to do what’s best for you 🙌✨ If this is a just bad episode, I hope your day gets better and you can not be too hard on yourself while you try your best to make it through ✨
I wish it was just another bad episode but its not he gaslight me too much too long making it feel like it's my ocd etc I've had enough
@Karb101 Thats rough :/ When a person you trust can use this special thing about us as a weapon against you, it’s really not cool.
Plus he shows no affection or intimacy with me at all since I had my 6 year old
@Karb101 I’m so sorry 💔 You deserve someone with the same values & the mindset as you. I have limited knowledge on your situation of course but in general- you deserve someone who will bring you happiness. If a relationship has a lot more cons than pros and it’s damaging you, it’s worthy to reconsider the relationship
Porn in a relationship can be very debilitating and problematic. I'm so sorry this is happening to you. If you feel that you have expressed yourself as much as you can about this and nothing has changed, then you will have to separate yourself from him in any way you can. Maybe there is still some way this can helped but it's hard to say. :(
Thanks for the support ik i just don't know how but im sure ill figure it out
@Karb101 I pray that your situation gets better. Lust can be such an extreme thing to deal with because it can bring out the worst in situations. I pray that your husband, who is not just the man you married, but a father of your children, will be able to see that someday and be clean of that desire of lust. Does he knowingly struggle with porn use? Has he tried to stop more than once in the past? Did you two ever speak about it? Unfortunately your situation is very very common.
@BigGyro09 But you aren't alone.
@BigGyro09 I have and he gets very angry and changes the subject and targets other people and subjects that aren't relevant and makes things miserable for all of us
@Karb101 It's not right for him to make it about other people. While it may be guilt and/or shame talking, he has to remember the responsibility of him watching is his own. It can be very hard not to watch but there are real consequences because of his actions. Has this been going on for years?
A lot of husbands watch p*rn. I don't think it's a reflection good or bad on the wife, it's more of a transactional / functional kinda thing to get the job done. Some women view it as cheating but I think cheating is doing stuff IRL or with real people. Meanwhile many women will flirt with 100 guys IRL to seek attention and validation from the opposite and think nothing of it. So it goes both ways. As far as him not able to keep a job, I think that's usually one of 2 things: a) Not being in alignment with work. Somethings off, whether it's being generated / motivated etc. or b) He's not skilled enough. Which means on his off time he needs to upskill or find a new career or c) maybe he has a mental disorder that makes some jobs difficult, which means he should get help for it or adapt to a career that fits that more. But some relationships are just not meant to be. Take two people that want to be in it and fight for it. It's not easy. It's for richer and poor, in sickness and in health. That means fighting through the struggles not just the easy times. GL!
He has more opportunities to get help then I do. He has the va and refuses to get help and to me its the lying about it and watching it at work. Plus the fact hes watch other women strip. Its not acceptable plus I don't look of flirt with other men. Hes pushed my other kids out and always fights with them my kids have jobs and pay thier way. Now my son is leaving soon he can't stand it either. Im stuck at home all day taking care of the house and my 6 year old and would love to work. Hes just ripping my family apart from me. As far me I do the best I can
Which in part makes my ocd worse with his mind games I changed more than he has and asked me to do.
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