Dealing With False Attraction

I struggle A LOT with false attraction. Recently it's been latching onto my coworkers and making me feel as if I have crushes on them.. It happens a lot in general- if I find someone even semi-attractive, interesting, funny, kind, whatever else, my brain automatically thinks it's a crush. The funny part is is that I don't even want anything to do with these people. I love my boyfriend more than anything in the world and he's the only one I see myself getting married to and having a future with. If ANYONE ever came up to me and asked me out I'd without a second thought turn them down. So I KNOW I don't actually care about these people at all. My ocd is just latching onto them and turning the alarm bells on. I feel so guilty and feel the need to confess but I know I shouldn't, it all just feels SO real. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this? I am filled with guilt all day and thoughts that I'm a horrible partner. I feel like I NEED to tell my boyfriend, that if I don't tell him then I'd be a liar and would spend the rest of my life guilty. I hate the fact that people say crushes are normal because it almost makes me want to move on and forget about it because of that very fact- but I DON'T have a crush and reassuring myself with that makes me feel like I'm just giving into the fact that I might have a crush. I don't want to have a crush. I only want to think about my boyfriend. I don't want to even be remotely interested in someone else. I struggled a lot with cheating OCD for a while and then it shifted into this and I end up fixating on it ALL day. Everytime I think about my boyfriend I feel it lingering in the back of my mind, I end up subconsciously feeling checking the false attraction to see how I'd react but it only makes me distressed. At work I avoid my coworkers, I don't speak to them unless I have to. I don't want to be too close to them, I even stop breathing from my nose because I don't want to smell their cologne. It's horrible. Does anyone have any advice??? How do I combat this? I feel like it's going to haunt me even after I get past this theme.

oliSalt

Date posted: 22h

I have had same experiences. Advice: let the feelings sit there. Expose yourself to the fears, see the actual cortisol rise in a physical manner - bring yourself to complete externality - accept that this is yourself, this right here with all the thoughts, messy emotions, feeling of incompleteness. Let it sit and accept it. Then, choose one simple action to continue doing - eating, cleaning a plate, sitting in the garden. I’d love to know what you think

oliSalt

Date posted: 22h

What your body wants is reassurance. That this isn’t the real you - that you are more moral than this. You want to check, run through the thoughts, scan and find evidence. No one is reassuring you, no one is going to remove these thoughts from your head personally. It’s who you are. Sit with them and act how you would if the thoughts weren’t there at all - as if everyone in the world was locked into equal status that regardless of what you think or do you can’t lose equality.

Roryrororo

Date posted: 20h

Thank you, I will try to just sit with the thoughts but it's so hard because I feel like I'm betraying my boyfriend and should tell him.. But if I told him I know he'd only be confused and hurt

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