Struggling

I’m struggling a lot. I overthink everything. I've been struggling with OCD for a while now and I'm currently on a waiting list for therapy, but it's impacting my whole life and I don't know how to cope. On top of the grief I've been dealing with intrusive thoughts that he would be disappointed in me for being gay even though he never said anything like that. I know rationally it's a fear, not reality, but OCD has latched onto it and won't let go. I don’t even know what type of ocd I have because everyday it’s different. This week I had an argument with one of my closest friends. someone I met online and am meeting for the first time Tuesday. He made some jokes. I know they were jokes, I even say worse to him. But my OCD took those comments and used them as evidence of every fear I already had about myself. I completely spiralled. Reacted way more intensely than the situation called for, screamed, said things I regret. I could see I was overreacting but I couldn't stop it. When I calmed down I could see clearly I was already drowning in grief and the OCD amplified everything. My friend was actually right in a lot of what he said about my reaction. I've owned that. But in the moment I had zero control. I just want to know how to manage this while I wait for proper help. It's affecting my friendships, my mental state, everything. I'm exhausted.