Advice needed (real event themes)

Hey guys! Hope you’re doing fine. It’s been a few weeks now since my real event spike started, and things don’t seem to get better. I’ve successfully managed not to seek for reassurance or engage with mental compulsions as much, but I really need to hear from someone who is experiencing something similar to what I am. Context: I’m barely in my 20’s and I regret a lot of things that happened during my teenage years. Guilt is consuming me away. I know I was young and that I’m human, but at this point I feel like I will never forgive myself. I also get this intrusive thought pretty frequently that I’ll never be able to move on and that I’ll keep torturing myself in my 30’s-40’s about the same mistake. I’ll also say, that this past mistake is so present in my daily life because a few people know about it, and i’m always so scared about getting “exposed” (whenever I get this feeling Ill also think that it’ll ruin my life and reputation). Thank you for reading this, it means a lot to me. Also, I just want you to know that if you’re going through a hard time, I’m here to listen!! xx

recoveryisne...

Date posted: 11h

hi my lovely. I feel like I always respond to your posts because I just relate so much. I see you, and I realise that our experience of real event is very similar and we have a lot of the same thoughts. I often worry about the spiral continuing until I’m older until I’m around my 30s or 40s like you were saying. I often also worry about the past mistake constantly to the point where I can’t feel happy in the moment that I’m in. but I’ve started, as of late to realise, when my compulsions occur and why they occur- and to stop myself from doing them. that has been making it easier to live my life every day. It’s really difficult and I always have up-and-downs with this theme. I have found that real event is one of the worst themes to deal with, with OCD, it latches onto this thing that is objectively true and it doesn’t let it go. One of the main things that I have realised is that I have to stop engaging with the thought and the more I distract myself while accepting that the thought exists during my everyday activity- the better I feel about it. It’s weird though because obviously you have ups and downs all the time, and sometimes I will feel so much more okay with my real event than other days. Sometimes I feel like I’m the worst person to ever have lived, and other times I feel like it’s just a silly mistake that I made in my teenage years. I’m 19 if that makes you feel more seen- I’m around your age and therefore I think that we can relate even more on our experiences. xx

anonymous_pu...

Date posted: 10h

@recoveryisneverlinear Hi there. This genuinely means a lot to me, really. Thank you so much for taking your time to respond. Yes, I feel like we experience real event in a similar way, and it’s really comforting to know that you understand my points of view. Your approach seems interesting, I’m saving this comment for whenever I need it. I know that I must sit with the uncertainty, but I also think that I’m spiking with it back again because I’ve finally found people who appreciate me (friends and a partner), and the last thing I’d like to do is to disappoint them or upset them: and this is what my mind makes me believe every single day. I feel like I’m such a bad person and I don’t deserve happiness just because of that event. I don’t even know how to express myself properly. But I hope this makes sense. Also, I’ll never thank you enough for taking your time and expressing your perspective. All I need right now is support: no reassurance, no compulsions, just support. And you guys are so good at that. Thank you 🫶

recoveryisne...

Date posted: 2h

@anonymous_purple💜 I feel exactly the same way. Whenever I’m around people that I really love and really care about my mind chimes in saying that I don’t deserve these people and I don’t deserve to be happy -and it’s one of the most horrible feelings I’ve ever experienced. I genuinely would never wish it on anyone and you are so sweet and lovely all I can say is you are not defined by your mistakes or by your event. everyone does things they regret and most people can get over it because they realise that they’ll never repeat that behaviour and that that was a past version of themselves. For us its way harder. I hope that your spike becomes easier to deal with. ❤️

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