what is this weird feeling?

I feel weird all the time lately, and it’s exhausting. It feels like every day my brain finds something new to focus on or be scared of. First it’s my breathing, then dizziness, then my jaw, then being cold, then feeling detached. Even when one thing gets better, my mind seems to move on to the next thing. I don’t feel like myself right now. Sometimes I feel like I’m not fully present or not fully in my body, and it’s hard to explain because I know I’m here and I know what’s going on around me, but I just feel off. On top of that, I’m really sad and emotionally drained. I miss my family, my routine, and the feeling of being safe and comfortable at home. My body feels tired too and I can feel it in my sore muscles and just how worn out I am. I think what’s scaring me is that I’ve never felt quite like this before. It feels like I’m stuck in a cycle of constantly monitoring myself, constantly noticing sensations, and constantly wondering why I don’t feel normal.

Anonymous

Date posted: 16h

Yes, I see you and this is something im dealing with as well really bad. I talked to my therapist about this how im just trying to get better and all the time it seems like ocd and anxiety always have a new theme for something new to worry about. I’ve felt frustrated and upset how I just keep trying to be better and it’s just keep coming back at me. My therapist said along the lines of this is what ocd does, it is very sneaky and nitpicks anything that is a trigger or brings fear. OCD doesn’t necessarily stop on its own, we just have to stop giving it the power which is to sit with discomfort and not engage but just letting the thought be there and pass no matter when or how it shows up. It sounds very easy writing it but im in the process of it and yes, it’s extremely hard. It’s feels like im not myself and im losing control, emotionally drained but this is good because you’re teaching your brain new and healthy ways to think and the brain just gets confused because you’re doing something that’s uncomfortable and not familiar but healthy for you long term. You’re definitely not alone and no matter what I think you’re going a great job it’s very hard to live with ocd.

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 15h

@Anonymous I’m doing the same but sometimes it just feel like the thought is so important or that I am “scared to let it go” because I feel like it will come back 10x worse

Anonymous

Date posted: 15h

Ya I really understand that, feeling if I let the thought go it means I missed something bad or something I should pay attention to. This confused me a lot because I didn’t know if this was like a intuition or gut feeling and just thinking the thought is real and im still trying to process this and just let them be without having to figure it out. That’s something I struggled with is just not having to figure out what a certain thought means or even intellectualizing my emotions. I guess the takeaway that I got was to let the thoughts be there and continue on with your day as you would normally. Sometimes im still confused by it, so just being aware that you feel a certain way and that’s ok and it will pass and might come back and that’s ok too. And I think I’ve gotten emotionally tired of just trying to figure out a thought or physical sensation out of what it could mean and that’s it might be dangerous. I just let it be to the best of my abilities and continue on which im trying my best to do even right now. You’re definitely not alone I’ve felt the same way in the past and now.

Anonymous

Date posted: 15h

I’ve also noticed the more I’ve tried to figure out, the more intrusive thoughts come and they just start building on one another, so I just kept that in mind as well.

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