Rocd: Does the exposures help?

My current ROCD episode started around my engagement. Before getting engaged, I was feeling nervous about taking such a big life step. When my sister questioned why I was nervous, I began wondering whether my anxiety meant something was wrong. Instead of seeing the nerves as a normal reaction to a major commitment, I started analyzing them and looking for answers. From there, my anxiety became focused on my relationship. I started questioning whether I loved my partner enough, whether I was excited enough to get engaged, and whether my doubts or anxiety were signs that I was making a mistake. I spent a lot of time checking my feelings, analyzing interactions, looking for certainty, and trying to figure out what my thoughts and emotions meant. It felt like everything he did made me anxious. The anxiety followed me through my engagement, wedding planning, and eventually into marriage. Some days I felt connected and confident, while other days I felt overwhelmed by doubt and uncertainty. I became very focused on whether I felt the "right" feelings and worried whenever I felt anxious, disconnected, annoyed, or less excited than I thought I should. Over the last year and half the anxiety has gotten a lot better but I still struggle. About a month ago I started ERP through NOCD. Overall, I am doing much better than when I started. The constant panic, rumination, and urgency to figure everything out have decreased significantly. However, I still find myself struggling with the fact that I don't feel completely back to the way I want to feel. One thing that confuses me is that when I do exposures, I often have to intentionally think about the feared scenarios to create anxiety. Yet in real life, I still don't always feel as carefree, connected, excited, or present as I want to. That sometimes leads me to wonder whether ERP is working, whether this is really ROCD, or whether something is actually wrong. Right now I'm trying to learn how to continue recovery without using my current feelings as evidence for or against my relationship. Does anyone else have this experience?