contamination

im freaking out over rice this might sound really ridiculous but it's bothering me. so yesterday i wanted to make some rice, and there was some left over rice in the rice cooker that i wanted to cook in, but i didn't really wanna eat it, and wanted to make fresh rice instead. so i took a bowl from the dish washer and put the rice in there. the bowls in the dishwasher had some left over water from it, and when i went to put the rest of the dishes away, i know im probably not going to explain this next part well, but i'll do the best i can. you know when a plate or a bowl is clean, idrk how to describe it, but it feels a certian way? when i ran my hand over some of the dishes, it didn't \*feel\* that way. so when i went to put the dishes away i then got a little worried, and i thought that maybe the dish washer wasn't done its cycle, and i thought that the reason it didn't feel the way i wanted it to feel was possibly because of soap. so i got a little scared, and i took all the dishes that i'd taken out of the dish washer back into the dish washer, except the bowl with the rice. i was planning on throwing the rice out, but i forgot to and went to bed. then earlier this morning, i made some more rice but i didn't make enough, so when my brother went to go take some rice, i asked him to take a a little bit of the rice he too was from the bowl . and now long story short, i'm very scared that i could have contaminated that rice, and he ate it, and its bothering me. i mean the rice is still in the bowl now, and i ate a little bit of it, and it didn't really taste soapy? but i'm just really concerned because of how the dishes felt when i took it out of the dish washer , that maybe it wasn't done and maybe there was soap on it, and now im scared i contaminated his food. i mean when i opened the dish washer, it wasn't making any noise, so it could have been done washing...or at least i don't \*think\* it was making any noise? this only happened yesterday but i've been retracing my steps and trying to remember things, but i'm already forgetting. and this is particularly scary, because i didn't start the dish washer, i dont know how long it had been running, and idk if it was done, and im getting really anxious and its bothering me.

ben123

Date posted: 9h

Maybe or maybe not who knows

NocturnaLNorsE

Date posted: 10h

Sounds like you are doing a lot of ruminating. Ruminating is where you think in your head over and over about the situation to make it feel better or convince yourself that something is okay. In your situation you are trying to convince yourself that there's no soap. Really, theres no way to know. So what we do is we say, maybe there was some soap in there, and maybe there wasn't and you go about your day. I know it's hard because I have intrusive thoughts about that in a way too. So what we do is we say yeah maybe there's something on there and maybe there isn't. Then we go about our day. If the thought pops up again you say it again. Not actually out loud but you catch my drift. You don't have to sit in your head repeating it, but also at the same time we don't want to sit in our thoughts about what might have been. That's where we make ocd worse. What happens is we get a hit of anxiety trying to get us to do a compulsion (in your cause ruminating or trying to make yourself feel better about it).we gotta end the ocd cycle by not using a compulsion. Don't try to make yourself feel better mentally, just let the distress sit there. Don't try to drive the thought away just let it be. Let it go away on its own. It's also important that you don't actively try to focus on the thoughts. At the same time, even if it's encompassing all your thoughts try to focus on what you are doing in real life.

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