Perfectionism OCD (Teacher)

Hello everyone, I’m struggling with perfectionism ocd as a teacher. Anytime I plan a lesson (even in my head) I doubt every decision I make and feel I need to look it up. I fear a scenario where I’m being observed and I’m wrong about what my decision was on how to teach (example did I differentiate correctly, or is this the same level of difficulty?) anyone have any suggestions or deal with this?

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

Yes, absolutely. I had the same thoughts and I always thought I was going to get fired, that my admin was talking badly about me or wanting to replace me, that other teachers were better at this than me and I was a fraud. What helped was looking at the facts. Our brains are trying to protect us so the alarm is faulty. The facts are that done is better than perfect because perfect makes us not act or have analysis paralysis. Done is good enough. Perfect does not exist. When you are being observed, it is your admins job to talk to you and let you know where you can improve, if at all. THEIR job THEIR responsibility. Take what they say at face value. Meaning, if they give you a compliment, believe them. They are untilimately on your team and are there to support you. They WANT you to succeed and want to help you. I found out later they actually loved me all along, I was just not loving myself the whole time and worried that they were thinking that too and validating my worst fears that I am not good enough. Put the responsibility of communication on them. Think "hmm maybe this is good enough, maybe not. I'm going to do what exites me and benefits my kids and it's their job to support me if it needs any tweaking" you are phenomenal because you care so much.

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: Yesterday

@Anonymous This helped tremendously. Thank you SO much. Do you think admin prioritizes growth over perfection, or do they expect perfection? Or am I seeking certainty by asking you this? I have burned myself out trying to make every detail perfect and not being “wrong” in my planning

Anonymous

Date posted: 21h

@Anonymous I think when we try to make things perfect it's our way of manipulating an end result so we're trying to wave our wands to ensure certainty that someone thinks you are amazing or good at your job or enough. I ended up eventually being on support staff so I got to see exactly what admin talks about and what they truly love above all else is not perfection but rather a love for the kids, being a team player, someone who tries their best NOT someone who is the "best" because that is so subjective. They have so much grace to teachers who truly sucked and needed to be fired lol I was shocked and the teachers who they highly spoke about were always humble and wondering if they were good enough. It's so common to compare yourself in this career because you are so watched all the time. Their BIGGEST priority what actually if THEY looked good or were good enough because they have to have an A school haha so much worry there about themselves as humans. "Maybe they think this is good, maybe not" maybe they love me and maybe not. Do YOU love it? Do you love yourself? Do your kids enjoy you?Love your kids and show that you are flexible and are willing to improve if you need to. Perfection never got me happiness. I've even been teacher of the month and thought that would prove that my excessive cleaning and planning were good enough and when I got it, I felt nothing. Lol it's us we have to work on. It's the root within.

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