My wedding is ruining my life.

This is one of the hardest seasons of my life, and I genuinely appreciate anyone who takes the time to read this. I’ll try to keep it brief. About eight months ago, I lost my job due to budget cuts. I’m 33, and my fiancée and I were both living with our parents while preparing to buy our first apartment together. That all came to a halt when I found out I was being laid off..... ,Three months later, I lost my father. Two months after that, it felt like I lost my mind....It’s been one hit after another. On top of all that, we’re planning our wedding. I know family opinions are part of the process, and I expected disagreements. But in my case, it’s reached a level that has become genuinely destructive. Things have been said to both me and my fiancée that I never imagined hearing from family. Not because we’ve done anything hurtful, but because the wedding we’re planning doesn’t fit what some of my family thinks it should be...The biggest source of this has been my mom and my aunt. They’re both very traditional and incredibly opinionated, and I’ve been made to feel selfish, ungrateful, and even like there’s something wrong with me simply because I want our wedding to reflect what my fiancée and I want. The latest conflict is over the rehearsal dinner. We wanted it to be small and intimate....,,just our parents and the bridal party. My aunt assumed she, my uncle, all of my cousins, and other relatives would be invited. But if I invited my entire side, then my fiancée would understandably feel obligated to invite all of hers, and suddenly the rehearsal dinner becomes a second wedding....That wasn’t what we wanted. When I explained that, I was met with, What’s wrong with you? and How could you do this? My mom accused me of being selfish and ungrateful to put it lightly . My aunt criticizes me behind my back instead of speaking to me directly. Now my mom resents not only me but also my fiancée, who has become guilty by association. My OCD latched onto all of this guilt and confusion and stress with a vengeance...Every accusation gets replayed in my head until I start questioning whether I’m actually a terrible son, nephew, and person. Logically, I know my fiancée and I are simply trying to plan a wedding that reflects us, but emotionally I feel buried under the weight of everyone else’s expectations in a pit so deep I can't see the light... I feel like I’m fighting battles on every front...grief, unemployment, wedding planning, family conflict, and my own mind. Right now, it honestly feels like I’m losing the war. I don’t know if I’m looking for advice or just hoping someone out there understands what this kind of emotional exhaustion feels like, but I needed to get it off my chest and don't know what to do...I need help...I need so much help but I can't get help bc I don't have insurance and I feel so incredibly low, confused, and almost hopeless. Thanks for reading I don't know what else to say.