What did I just experience? 24 hour trance?

Hi everyone, for context I have experienced intense OCD on the false memory I cheated on my boyfriend. This morphed into thinking I wanted to cheat. For example, the other night I had the thought “I want to sleep with (co worker)” and this caused intense sudden panic and I ended leaving the party in fear I’d cheat. This past one year has caused intense anxiety and I’ve had some difficult nights begging my boyfriend to break up with me saying he deserves better. This is where it gets confusing. For the past 24 hours I experienced something I think would be described as limerence over my old boss. For context, I worked this job for 2 years, it was my first corporate job, I was 22 when I left, my boss (31 M), I thought he was attractive and there were periods he picked on me specifically. His approval consumed a lot of my thoughts during this time. When I was intimate with my boyfriend he would always come up and I’d suppress them or when I had random fantasies I’d never engage. I remember when I quit he hadn’t appeared in my thoughts in months and I was so happy. I left my job 1.5 years before my OCD fear of cheating theme. Then it came back and I felt guilty for wanting his approval etc… and when I shared this with my therapist, she said it is common for people in my situation to experience this and this sudden obsession I’ve done something wrong is being fuelled by this new fear I’ve cheated fixation. THEN yesterday my mind became stressed that I again did something wrong by wanting his approval but there was a new thought. I had the thought “would I have cheated on my boyfriend with him if I had the chance back then” and I genuinely felt uncertain. This uncertainty caused panic. But then all of a sudden I had rushing feelings of infatuation with this old boss and when I thought about my boyfriend I felt like I wasn’t attracted to him anymore. I found myself agreeing I’d cheat on my boyfriend for him and enjoying it? But at the same time in this 24 hours I refused to engage in all these sudden fantasies and I refused to look at his IG when I had a sudden urge to. I think deep down I knew when this would pass I would feel guilty for engaging in the fantasies/looking at this IG. But I suddenly felt like I was in love with him and wanted only him and would cheat to be with him. Anyways that lasted 24 hours and I felt like I was hit with a brick of what the heck no I love my boyfriend. I don’t care about this man. I feel terrible and consumed by guilt for looking at my relationship like that and agreeing I’d cheat. I know, it’s terrible. I feel terrible for all of this to the point I again felt the urge to confess and break up with my boyfriend. My brother took my phone away because I was begging to call my boyfriend. Has anyone experienced this? I don’t know what’s happened. I feel scared and lonely. And it should be noted never ever when I worked at this job I had the urge to be with this man, I just desperately wanted his approval.