moral / real event ocd

I can't stop thinking about things I have done wrong and feeling like the worst person in the world. I have been hanging out with new people but I get so anxious about it and feel like i shouldn't waste their time befriending them because i feel like they would hate me if they knew what terrible things i've said. I really am working on not being that negative cruel person anymore but i feel like I need to spend the rest of my life paying for my mistakes and torturing myself to make up for it. When I wake up I have a split second of calmness but once i'm lucid i get hit with the hardest feeling of dread and regret for just existing. I just want to confess everything ever to everyone I have ever met and have them tell me they forgive me and that i'm not the worst . I wish i could wake up as my 5 year old self before I did anything wrong and restart

lookingtoget...

Date posted: 8h

i’m also going through the same thing rn. i genuinely wish i had some advice to give you but i don’t. however, you should take some comfort in the fact that you’re trying your best to change.

lov3rgrl333

Date posted: 8h

@lookingtogetbetter Thank you. you're right that i should focus on my improvement and i hope you are able to do the same if you relate to this post. we will get through this together

Anonymous

Date posted: 8h

It helps no one to writhe in self punishment; it only hurts those who care for you, and provides no true reparation for those you hurt. You’ve woken up to your past wrongs, and ever since you started your journey to becoming a better person, you became that better person. Confessing only diminishes the distance you’ve created between who you were before and who you are now. The past is the past, keep persisting everyday to do better, and you’ll get more comfortable living as who you are.

lov3rgrl333

Date posted: 7h

@Anonymous Thank you friend i hope i am able to move past this and i hope you can also heal from anything you are going through

alan87

Date posted: 7h

@Anonymous Love this! This is so well said!

Anonymous

Date posted: 7h

@lov3rgrl333 Likewise, I relate a lot to your struggle. You’re not alone, if we keep doing better, we will be someday.

Ricky Gill

Date posted: 8h

keep healing

lov3rgrl333

Date posted: 8h

@Ricky Gill Thank you, you too

MarjanR

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 8h

Your words have touched my heart — I, too, feel the same way. May you find contentment and self-acceptance regardless of your worst mistakes 💕🌷

lov3rgrl333

Date posted: 7h

@MarjanR Thank you i hope you find so much peace and joy

coriqo

Date posted: 7h

I definitely relate to wishing you could go back and restart, I feel that so intensely

lov3rgrl333

Date posted: 7h

@coriqo Thanks for letting me know it really helps me feel less alone. Sometimes it feels like i'm the only person that has ever felt like this

coriqo

Date posted: 7h

@lov3rgrl333 Of course, I really do understand the feeling of dread and horror too, you're definitely not alone

alan87

Date posted: 6h

I am going through this same thing the past four days. I’ve been stuck in a rumination/thought-spiral episode of intense guilt and anxiety of things I’ve done. You are not alone in this journey!

lov3rgrl333

Date posted: 6h

@alan87 I've been stuck in this episode for about a month now, i hope you are able to shake these thoughts quickly and heal. Take care of yourself

alan87

Date posted: 6h

@lov3rgrl333 You as well! It does get easier! For me there are ups and downs. I’ll be riding the middle for weeks or months, and then fall into a spiral like I’ve been in the past 4 going on 5 days. I know you’ll be able to let the thoughts be and heal. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for.

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