Mother always angry at me

Yesterday I had a break down in front of my mother, and she took me to the doctor. I was prescribed anxiety medication and referred to a counselor. My mother told me to call the counselor today, but there was a form I could fill out that is faster. She got mad at me and said she doesn’t want me to see someone who can prescribe me medication, so I must call and tell them that. I am 18+, so I can decide what I want to do. I never even disagreed that a counselor first would be a bad option, she just jumped the gun. I am also taking my exam final today for my summer class, and she called and made me feel awful earlier, causing me to cry while driving to my final. She then ended the call yelling how she’s always the problem. Does anyone have advice on how to preserve through situations like this where parents do not enjoy promoting mental health and make the child feel as though they are always a problem? My ocd has been awful since this call because now I just feel worthless and helpless.

Anonymous

Date posted: 18h

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. It sounds like your mom is being pretty reactive and taking your own struggles as a perceived attack against her. I like to put a mental “steel wall” up in frustrating interactions with my own mom to avoid letting these reactions impact me deeply. For smaller insults, sometimes it’s easier to pretend I’m a stone and she’s running water, and I can let her comments roll past me in waves. Then I can dismiss her words with something like “sure, okay” without letting it impact me or escalate the situation. It’s not easy but I try to take a deep breath and remind myself that she’s an individual with her own struggles and that it’s not a reflection of me. I hope things improve for you.

LRW

Date posted: 17h

@Anonymous Thank you for sharing. I usually don’t let her comments get to me: however, I just don’t share anything with her so I’ve always been able to be okay. Since I was vulnerable about how I’m feeling now, it just feels impossible to not feel hurt. I really liked your analogy, it seems helpful!

Anonymous

Date posted: 18h

I'm so sorry, I know that it's terrible when people aren't understanding or supportive of us, especially when they are someone close to us... Remember, you're not worthless! You are valuable! I've been at a point where I feel kind of helpless too lately, and I honestly don't know the best thing to do in situations like this... One thing I would recommend is doing what you know is best for your health!

LRW

Date posted: 17h

@Anonymous Thank you :) I keep telling myself that I know myself best, but all I can think is maybe I don’t and I’m wrong. I’m really trying to be strong.

Anonymous

Date posted: 17h

@LRW That's an understandable way to feel! I can imagine that I would have doubts too. While I do believe that each person knows themself best, I also don't think that anyone knows the best thing to do all the time since nobody's perfect. It's okay to not know what to do sometimes, and it's okay to not feel strong all the time! It's important to be patient with ourselves :) And I'm sorry if I didn't explain what I mean the best, sometimes it's difficult to find the right words!

LRW

Date posted: 12h

@Anonymous I think this was very helpful!

Anonymous

Date posted: 8h

@LRW That's good to hear! :) And I'm here if you need to talk through it some more of course!

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond