Rocd. Please help or give advice.

I had a female friend before my girlfriend and we got along pretty well. Liked a lot of similar things. She eventually had a crush on me and I didn’t like that at all. I turned her down because I didn’t think about her like that. Fast forward I have a beautiful girlfriend I’ve been with for 2 years and my ocd is constantly saying “what if she was actually better for you because of how you got along” “what if you and your girlfriend don’t get along as well as you and your friend” “what if this means we’re wrong for eachother. I just need advice on how to deal with it. I want to be with my girlfriend and even when we fight or I feel disconnected I still want to choose her. How do I get over the fact that it’s possible I got along better with someone or someone else would be better. It’s super upsetting

lynne222

Date posted: 16h

I think one thing would be to remind yourself maybe of why you’re choosing your girlfriend! You didn’t want the other girl before! You are comparing yourself which I struggle with myself sometimes! I don’t know if this is the proper way to go about it but I feel like reminding yourself that it is your OCD talking and not you! You didn’t like this girl before and you truly want your girlfriend! You get along with your girlfriend in a different aspect than the friend! You didn’t see the friend that way so therefore you and that girl wouldn’t be the best option together! Remind yourself of your caring and want for your girlfriend! Especially as you continue to be with her even if you fight!

Kaizen.

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 16h

@lynne222 You know you are so right. Nothing wrong with wanting different aspects. My girlfriend is a good compliment to me. She’s quieter but very steadfast and I’m louder and she balances me. Thank you.

lynne222

Date posted: 16h

@Kaizen. Of course! You didn’t want the other girl to begin with so it’s just your OCD worrying you! If you didn’t have your girlfriend you’d be sad right?

Kaizen.

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 16h

@lynne222 Of course I would. I love her a lot. OCD likes to convince me I wouldn’t but I absolutely would be upset

lynne222

Date posted: 16h

@Kaizen. exactly!! that’s how you know it’s your ocd!! i think it’s huge you can recognize it!

nomoreocd24

Date posted: 16h

Hey man, hope ya doing well. Be patient with yourself. But here’s some excellent advice, your yard is only green if you water it, by which I mean, if you put in consistent effort in improving yourself and addressing/ prioritizing the needs of your partner, it will be good as any other relationship (or better). Maybe you’d be happier in a different relationship, maybe not. Nobody knows. But what I can guarantee is, you’ll both be happy if you realign your focus and implement this mindset into daily practice. Best of luck

Kaizen.

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 16h

@nomoreocd24 Thankyou bro. I agree excellent advice. I love her and so want to continue to water us. This disease is horrible man.

nomoreocd24

Date posted: 16h

@Kaizen. For sure, bro! I gotchu. I have a girl who I love more than anyone/thing else. In moments of questioning, it helps to remind myself of that. OCD is no joking. I’m struggling so bad rn, too, but trying to be positive

Anonymous

Date posted: 16h

Anyone else struggle with comparing there partner with someone else? Like I feel like it’s me and not the OCD. Like I had to block someone that added me on Snapchat because I kept thinking what if he’s meant for me and what if he’s my future husband and then I started thinking of ways I’d tell my partner that I am going to move on. Now I’m in a spiral. And every time I think about my partner I think about this other person even though I legit don’t even know them, they just keep popping up on my feed…

Kaizen.

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 16h

@Anonymous Yess maam all the time. Compare her to my ex friends randoms etc

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