Is it time yet?

Hi everyone, As you know most of my posts have been about my partner. I haven’t spoken to them for 24 days- in this time, I’ve travelled, cried a lot, been in therapy, started flouvoxamie, written letters I didn’t send, processed a lot, and kept busy. I personally feel like this time has made me miss them more than I ever had. It’s showed me I was unhealthy codependent, but I feel like now I’ve learned to self regulate. And yes, I’m not perfect all of the sudden in three weeks, but I feel different. I want to reach back out to my partner soon, because I feel like I’m ready to try again. My mindset is that we take things slow, focus on only the positive, and really try to contribute happiness to each others lives. I feel like if I keep my own intrusive thoughts and personal problems to myself 90 percent of the time, I can really make them feel more at ease, and able to spend more time working on themselves. Of course if I needed them I’d hope they’d be there for me, but I’d rather go to them less with my problems. Any thoughts?

XwitnessX

Date posted: 15h

Partners should be supportive. If you don’t feel safe enough to be yourself around your partner or admit when you need help, it may not be the best time for the relationship. I don’t see any reason why you two can’t be friends with the understanding it can’t or won’t be romantic. Maybe that’s how you start slow and see if it’s what either of you want. And in this time you continue doing the work on your own, because that never ends. I’m so glad you’re feeling relief after a few weeks and you’ll only feel better the more you continue. You are not too much and it is not your responsibility to monitor how at ease some else feels. You got this 🙌✨

Abba<3

Date posted: 14h

Hi! What you did sounds really hard—I’m in a long distance relationship right now and I can’t imagine going no contact. I’m so proud of you for trying. I’m not an expert in your relationship, obviously, but my only note of concern is “only focusing on the positive.” If your OCD wants you to focus on the negative, then I totally understand only vocalizing the positive. However, life consists of ups and downs, and you don’t want to deprive yourself of processing the downs. I think if your partner brings you joy and relief then go for it! However, just remember to approach this as an opportunity to communicate honestly and authentically. That can be really hard, I know, especially if you want this person in your life for a long time (I personally struggle with ROCD, and thinking that if I bring up a problem it will push my partner away forever—which isn’t true, but it’s a scary thought. So maybe (or maybe not) I can understand where you’re coming from). But I think if you let your partner know what you want and where you’re coming from, that you recognize that the previous relationship wasn’t the most healthy, but you’re growing, changing, and trying to do better, then you’re doing all the right steps. I hope this was helpful, and if not, totally ignore me. Good luck going forward! Sending love your way!

Mar💗

Date posted: 12h

@Abba<3 Thank you for your advice! I’m in a LDR too!

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond