A Wierd Place to be

For the first time since OCD set in for me 10 years ago, I have gone 6 months without partaking in any compulsions purposefully (I have caught myself starting to a few times and stopped as soon as I realized it). I am living my life as a normal person and I am happy, but, in part because my recovery is so fresh and I am about to leave home for college, I am dodging doing compulsions for thoughts coming at me left and right. The thoughts are not nearly as prevalent or scary as they used to be, and I am by and large proud when I dodge them, but they are a reminder that even though I am out of the metaphorical room of crazy, I am standing right by the door on the other side, hearing the thoughts knock, and I would rather be at least a bit farther away from the door. I believe that over time, I will mostly attain that, but I don't like still being this close to the dark scary spirals and thought loops that I used to consume me. Can anyone relate?

Anonymous

Date posted: 8d

I understand what you mean, and yeah, the thought of spiraling like that isn't pleasant... I would say that progress isn't always linear, so I think it would be okay even if something like that did happen to us. Still, I know it's not an easy thing to think about...

JS55555

Date posted: 8d

Thanks, I appreciate it. I have "recovered" before but at the time to me that just meant only doing the compulsions that felt less serious, which obviously lead to relapses. I just don't want that to happen again--at least not full relapses; I do expect symptoms to ebb and flow though.

Anonymous

Date posted: 7d

@JS55555 I hear you. Yeah, I know relapses aren't fun... Also, by the way, how are you feeling about going to college?

JS55555

Date posted: 7d

@Anonymous - Thanks for asking! I am overall excited! My parents want me to stay in state but I know that I need to go to another state if I want to live the life that I want to live. It is hard to convince my parents that I am not trying to get away from them though. I am also just nervous that I won't be able to handle it, but I know that I can.

Anonymous

Date posted: 6d

@JS55555 I hope you have fun at college! :) I understand your parents' perspective, but I also understand yours too! And I understand being nervous; I'm glad that you are reminding yourself that you can handle it though! Do your parents seem to feel that you're trying to get away from them by going to another state? I'm sorry if so, that doesn't sound like it would be easy...

JS55555

Date posted: 4d

@Anonymous Thanks! I don't think that they do, as all evidence points away from it (like I prioritize spending time with them). They just see other teenagers wanting to distance from their parents and find it difficult to believe that I am the exception. I think they are seeing it now though

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

@JS55555 I see! I hope they see that you aren't trying to distance from them and that you just believe that going to college in another state is the option that fits your goals! I think it's awesome that you prioritize time with your family! I personally wouldn't want my family to feel like I'm distancing from them either, so I can understand how you might feel!

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