morals reading NSFW content?

i think that i’m worried my own opinions about the subject are wrong, and i don’t want to do anything that’s “bad” while knowing i’m in the wrong, or something. i’ve been seeing a lot of stuff with people who have viewpoints similar to my own saying their opinion that all nsfw content is hurtful to yourself and to the perception of women/how women perceive themselves, and i don’t fully disagree, but my ocd has put me in such a panic about things i’ve watched/read before that i can’t build an opinion or do anything with a clear mind. the opinions i’ve seen online aren’t things i exactly disagree with, so i’m afraid that if i interact with that content at all after seeing those viewpoints, i’m doing something bad that i knew better about already. it’s such a sensitive subject and i feel like if i do anything, my life could be ruined because i will ruin my own perception of myself. i feel like if anyone else told me they were into kink it would be fine, i guess? it depends on the subject. if it’s non consensual or age/race play stuff i definitely don’t like it or think it’s very good to consume, which is another thing that has me in an ocd loop (since i’ve been feeling extremely guilty about consuming content of that nature before,one of the mistakes being recent.) i also suspect that i already have an unhealthy relationship with nsfw content, maybe due to stuff from my upbringing. no idea how to unpack that, but i’m getting a therapist soon so i hope that helps me.

@anon7336474864 From what I'm reading it sounds like all of these opinions and viewpoints you're researching is itself a compulsion. Gathering a bunch of different ideas until your own brain is too scrambled to make sense of it. It's like when you go to the mall and it's extremely busy, you can barely hear your own thoughts. Even though you agree with (some of?) these opinions, overloading yourself creates a lot of weight and its difficult to see nuance when everything is piled on. I would say to table everything right now. Both the consumption of these materials as well as the conversations surrounding the morals of the materials. While yes avoiding nsfw can be an avoidance compulsion given your state right now I think a pause at the moment is good. Take time away from the subject entirely. Once you're on stable ground start with what you believe. Go with your instincts. Write what you personally believe down and then pause. You might have the urge to research again but do your best not to. Sit with what you've written for as long as you need and adjust your viewpoints over time. You're not on any time limit, take as much time as you need. I do hope the therapist is able to help you. I find one on one work to be more beneficial in my experience. The more honest you are with your therapist the more they will be able to help you. You dont have to go in with a plan ive just word vomited before and gotten a game plan from that. I've certainly had your fears before. The idea that I subconsciously know whats truly right and if I do something immoral I knew all along. So you aren't alone. Especially in this case. Ive struggled deeply when it comes to kink, and currently I'm at a place where I have a community I feel comfortable in and I feel secure in myself to know what I enjoy (not to say it out loud..but small steps). I just wanted to say that to show theres light at the end of the tunnel no matter what path you follow. I believe in you ❤️

@An0nymouss122 - thank you so much ❤️

yeah, i’m considering just not consuming any nsfw content altogether. i think that it’s really difficult building an opinion on all of this, because the communities i’m in have very differing opinions on everything. man, it’s so frustrating that nothing has a clear correct answer!! i just want to do what is the healthiest for everyone and i don’t want to make any more mistakes.