- Date posted
- Yesterday
False Memory
I’m trying to remain calm and not frantic. I’ve been doing really well with compulsions but spiraled a bit this week and it may be from pregnancy hormones. I got married in March and a week after had a “memory” that I cheated on my husband with his friend. This was distressing especially because I got pregnant and of course I did the deed with my husband (sorry tmi) but still convinced I cheated and it is his friends. A few months later in May I found out my best friends fiance cheated on her and they called off their wedding. I was so mad at first and honestly wanted to message him something mean but was never actually going to. Then I suddenly latched onto the idea that maybe what if I cheated with him instead and now I feel like there’s evidence. 1. I told my friend of my cheating fear around same time (like a week or two before her fiance confessed to his cheating) and convinced she told her fiance (while they were still together) because shortly after he admitted to her about his affair and I’m convinced what if he lied about who it was with and it was actually me. 2. I also added him on Facebook around the same timeline when I told her my fears and am scared between me adding him and him finding out I’m pregnant/thought I cheated that he had so much guilt he had to tell her because he though I knew 3. Pretty sure he blocked me and my husband on fb or at minimum deleted my husband (I deleted him myself) 4. We saw them the morning after the wedding and now I’m like was he having a weird vibe? 5. He apparently ended the affair right before my wedding because the girl he was hooking up with wanted him to not go and to call of his own wedding. Then she went and hooked up with his friends/coworkers and I’m like well what if he wanted revenge too. 6. He lied and said it was a nurse at first and later confessed to it being his partner at work. Am I crazy or is this truly false memory ocd because I feel like it’s a different feeling than previous false memory ocd events.