I need help

Hi everyone, I’m 19 years old, and I’m posting here because I’ve been struggling with something for a long time, and it’s becoming exhausting. I’m wondering if anyone else experiences this or if it could be OCD or intrusive thoughts. I constantly question my own thoughts, intentions, and actions. It feels like I can’t trust my own mind anymore. One of my biggest struggles is with looking at people. For example, if I’m watching a video and a man appears, my eyes might briefly land somewhere on his body. Sometimes it’s his private area, sometimes it’s another body part. The moment it happens, I panic. I immediately start asking myself: ● Did I look on purpose? ● Did I look for too long? ● Did I secretly want to look? ● Does this mean I’m attracted to him? ● What does this say about me? Sometimes I’ll replay the exact moment in my head over and over, trying to remember where my eyes went and for how long. No matter how much I analyze it, I never feel sure. Sometimes I’ll see a man sitting down, fully dressed, and nothing is visible. But then I feel an urge to check again, almost as if I need to know whether I can see anything. The second I do that, I start questioning myself again: “Did I check because I wanted to? Or did anxiety make me do it?” I can’t tell anymore. Every glance feels like a test that I have to analyze. I also notice myself checking things like whether a hand, arm, or body part belongs to a man. Then I start wondering if I looked too much or if I was trying to notice something. I question even the smallest movements of my eyes. I have a boyfriend whom I love very much, and these thoughts make me feel guilty. I don’t want to look at other men, but my mind keeps convincing me that maybe I wanted to, even though I don’t feel like that’s true. It makes me doubt myself constantly. spend so much time replaying situations, analyzing what I thought, what I looked at, what I felt, and whether anything was intentional. The more I try to figure it out, the more confused I become. I’m exhausted from constantly monitoring myself and doubting everything I do. Has anyone experienced something similar? Does this sound like OCD or intrusive thoughts? If it does, what helped you stop analyzing every thought and every glance?

KayGee

Date posted: 6h

Though I don’t suffer from the specific subtype of OCD you are experiencing, I absolutely “spend so much time replaying situations, analyzing what I thought, what I looked at, what I felt, and whether anything was intentional,” and totally feel “The more I try to figure it out, the more confused I become. I’m exhausted from constantly monitoring myself and doubting everything I do.” It sounds a lot like OCD! Intrusive thoughts are a big part of this affliction. They stink and take up an extraordinary amount of time and brain space, and also very common in OCD and other anxiety disorders. I’m having a very difficult existence lately, and the OCD is strong, and repeating affirmations really helps me. Here are some good ones for ruminations: I Focus on what could go right I Find joy in little things It is okay to feel lost sometime, I am not alone. I am capable of handling what comes my way.

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User type: Staff

Date posted: 5h

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