Rocd and kids

Have any of you guys had a relationship where you love your partner so much you wanna get married toiletries attracted and all the things, but you wuestion whether you want to have his kids? Like legit I have no reaosn why not other than maybe it's bc I already worry over my sexual feelings and desires towards him period. Like I love him I have no doubts about him, but the moment marriage and kids are mentioned i feel like i dont have the right feelings so I have done this for like a year and a half and I still dont have them. Ive broken down into tears out of indecision.

frankyfran

Date posted: 15h

Look up “Attachment styles” and do some reading on it. I’ve been where you are and I have an Avoidant Attachment style. Any time the relationship gets serious my nervous system gets triggered and feels “unsafe” and usually ends up with me pulling away a bit. I absolutely love my wife, and thankfully she’s supportive and understands the OCD and attachment styles. Let me know if this helps :) always down to talk

EmmaG1524

Date posted: 15h

I have avoidance like anytime something gets seurous I avoid it out of fear. And I've never been in a relationship where I have gotten this far. I want to marry him im choosing to commit to that regardless of ocd but having kids is something I wantm but i dont have the overwhelming feelings of happiness if any. I dont have just right feelings, even when i look for it I cant figure it out endless loops and thinking has led me to dead end. Bc I want this to work I love my partner, but I dont have enough feelings amd sexual or romantically attraction it feels like to have kids. It seems as though I need perfect chemistry and desire to do so

frankyfran

Date posted: 14h

@EmmaG1524 Honestly this is so valid. I have a hard time with my emotions as well. Obviously I am not a therapist but what I’ve found that helps for me is finding something that kind of helps “get in the mood” (usually 🍺 and 🍃) Does your partner want kids?

EmmaG1524

Date posted: 14h

@frankyfran We both want kids. But we're waiting for marriage and I don't drink we're Christians. I might gavs to just go in blindsided on this which is scary but attempting to not do so hsd left me to nothibg but anxiousness.

EmmaG1524

Date posted: 14h

@EmmaG1524 I gave no aversion to having kids with him at all i just dont have the excited feelings or romantic feelings about it that I desire

EmmaG1524

Date posted: 14h

@frankyfran I honestly think the direct collection is how much I obsess over my attraction, his flaws, romance etc. It has absolutely nothing to do with him as a person but my lack therefore excitement, romance the desire to do it

frankyfran

Date posted: 12h

@EmmaG1524 There’s nothing wrong with that either. If it really comes down to the line there are multiple options of how to have kids without the boinky part. Something that has helped me when I feel like I don’t have the proper emotion I should be having to a situation is by listing out a few good things about said situation bc at the very least it shows me some appreciation of the situation.

EmmaG1524

Date posted: 12h

@frankyfran Well I want that but its like I dont feel the proper emotions even tho I definitely have beforen

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