I’m so vehemently mad. Be in real life.

I can’t even get into it. I just want friends in real life. Online friendships seem to be transactional for others, as well as the friends I did have in real life. I have 2 good friends whom I met in 2013 who are better friends than anyone I met in real life, granted I didn’t have a normal adolescence into / adulthood due to my OCD isolating me for the past 5 years. Social media is toxic and collects your data, dating apps are predatory and non personal, I don’t use them. The forum thing on this app is simply a double edged sword. I see regulars post the same stuff every week just to have me give a lengthy insightful answer and myself be ignored, or everyone on the app doesn’t reply to someone literally in distress. And imagine how they feel. Please for the love of God just go outside and just stay outside. I ONLY have a facebook which my OCD doesn’t even like because I hope someone just reaches out to me. I’m done initiating shit online. In person I do great, but as soon as I’m online it feels like the world is out to get me. And it’s not. It’s just the nature of how the internet works. For people chronically on this app compulsively posting, and not using the therapy on here: get off. Get offline, I need to get offline. You will not find peace doing what I did. I can’t regularly get outside due to my living situation, and I’m partially to blame. but maybe you can. I’ve never felt as alone as I do when I’m around people. Especially online. This paired with my childhood cats dying, I’m mad. And I’ve let people step on me my whole life because I never was shown a healthy friendship until a little under a year ago, which is unfortunately online. I cry a lot. Like once every other day, over my cats or the grief I have from other people. Just get outside 😭😭 You will not find the peace online as you can in real life.