can someone please respond:( I don’t know whattodo

I agree with the other comment that it is about actions. It is also completely possible to feel love or attraction to multiple people at once, even if it was that; that would not make you a bad person. It is only whether you actually break any boundaries established with your existing partner(s). There may not necessarily be anything you have to "do" while dealing with these thoughts; it seems like you might just be ruminating on a past experience. I would consider speaking with a therapist about it or with your partner in youe next relationship. You don't need to "confess" anything about this to your ex or friend, even if OCD is being loud about it.

“Acceptance doesn’t mean liking, wanting, or agreeing with the intrusive thought. Instead, it means allowing the uncertainty to be there without continuously engaging with or contesting it.” You’ve accepted that they’re an “objectively” attractive person. That’s separate from you inviting them into your relationship. Henry Cavill is hot. That’s objectively true, and my wife and I both recognize this. That doesn’t mean either of us have a desire for him to be a third. Seems like you might have an underlying fear that your attraction will be perceived as a betrayal or infidelity, or create an attachment wound, potentially resulting in a strained relationship, or ‘worse case scenario.’ If OCD is begging you to challenge “the worse case scenario that goes against your values,” you’re likely performing behavior that avoids the outcome. The truth is that you chose to do the right thing in the moment, which is honoring your commitment with intention. Perpetually doubting that doesn’t change that. Someone else liking your style doesn’t change that. It’s okay to be witnessed and considered attractive. That’s not a behavior that you’re responsible for.

You are completely human to think the way you are thinking.. I believe love is a choice and if you were given the chance to cheat you wouldn't.. so the control is in your hands again.. also it is completely normal to want to look good in front of others and when people are also put together and attractive you want to match that level naturally.. it's completely normal to want to look pretty and look attractive.. have you spoken to your boyfriend about these OCD feelings? Even if he's very jealous, I'm sure he would understand and ease your guilt a bit.. if you are clear with your intentions, that is all that matters.. and even if it was a girl in that guy's position, you would still want to dress well.. whatever you're doing it is not cheating.. and if you ever wanted to be with that guy, you could just leave your boyfriend and date him if you want to, but you did not so that shows that you love your boyfriend

In terms of what you can "do" I would suggest talking to your boyfriend openly and asking him what he thinks as well as letting your mind wander about that guy becuz the more you tell yourself not to the more it feels like you are indulging in something secretive.. let your mind think about him.. eventually it will get bored and move on.. being stylish and knowing clothes is one thing but your boyfriend clearly has the personality to go with it and that is why you are dating him