PTSD & OCD

Hello there ! I'm new on NOCD Community and I'd like to share my OCD experience. I have been diagnosed with PTSD and OCD and I wonder how the trauma could have affected the OCD theme. The trauma happened when I was 8 years old where an older schoolmate tried to sexually assault me , I managed to push him away and he then humiliated me and hit me. The OCD started with intrusive thoughts about harm from dangerous people on the person I love more than anything , my niece. At first it was about intrusive thoughts that someone dangerous harms her in this way , and I was so horrified , distressed and overwhelmed by the thoughts that they became worse and they started coming as false "wishes" that violate my deepest values and are my worst nightmares. I know it's incredibly shocking and abhorrent , I can't get over it , I cry every day , I feel unbearable pain. I have Harm OCD and Morality OCD. I am doing CBT and my therapist is really helpful ! But the pain still feels unbearable since I am at the beginning. Anyone who experienced something similar like having a specific phobia (mine is sexual abuse) after a trauma and a related OCD theme?

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

Hey, I had a different situation, but I also have OCD and PTSD. I'm not sure if the PTSD caused the OCD. I've tried CBT for a while and didn't find that helped me. I am trying ERP now for the OCD. I've had a little success with EMDR for the trauma but I still have work to do on that. I hope the CBT helps, but know if it doesn't, there are other types of therapies. You're not alone and I hope you find what helps you soon.

Zoe00

Date posted: 15h

Thank you so much. I already feel a little less alone. I really hope your healing journey brings you peace and that you find your way back to feeling calm within yourself. Take care!

kk444

Date posted: Yesterday

I strongly believe my ocd stems from my trauma to but I’m not sure … I was 18 when I started remembering sexual abuse trauma from when I was around 8 and then soon after I discovered that I was sexually abused as a kid, I started getting intrusive thoughts that to sum them up said, I am going to be just like my abuser.. I also get nervous around kids .. and the newer problem is that I struggle keeping eye contact with people without getting an intrusive thought to stare inappropriately .. I also have a problem where I’f there is someone in my peripheral vision I get an intrusive thought to stare at them .. generally I feel my ocd centers around sexual thoughts that I don’t want to have …. I have yet to find the right therapist

kk444

Date posted: Yesterday

@kk444 And I think I’m starting to get intrusive thoughts that generally challenge my morals with anything honestly

Zoe00

Date posted: 14h

@kk444 There is a psychological phenomenon called mental contamination, in which survivors of abuse or traumatic experiences feel as though they have been internally "contaminated" by what happened to them. They may fear that they have somehow absorbed some of the abuser's cruelty, evil, or intentions, even though they rationally understand that this isn't true. This experience is believed to arise from trauma, shame, and the violation of personal boundaries. It can persist long after the abuse has ended and is often associated with PTSD and trauma-related shame. Survivors may experience intrusive thoughts, compulsive rituals, or an intense need to distance themselves from anything that reminds them of the abuse. It's a trauma response that reflects the profound emotional impact of abuse and the mind's attempt to make sense of a deeply violating experience. I hope this helps! Intrusive thoughts cause so much suffering because they are ego-dystonic, meaning they go against your deepest values and sense of who you are. They reflect your deepest fears, not your true intentions or character. I think finding a therapist who specializes in OCD could really help! If the thought of being a bad person causes you unbearable distress, that's often consistent with ego-dystonic intrusive thoughts rather than a reflection of who you really are. Take care!

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond