Academically stunting ocd

@Tea and Honey the main fear it gives me is that if i study this topic, i never would’ve done it if i never saw that stupid thing i saw which used to lead to existentially driven mental breakdowns caused by the stress of wanting to do something but not being able to it’s considerably mellowed out, i just avoid anything or at best find different reasons or excuses to study that “forbidden topic”. I found a good reason, but sometimes i doubt i ever would’ve found that reason if i never saw that stupid thing.

@anonnymous0542 The problem is that you are giving into your OCD when you are avoiding this topic. Yes, everything will calm down for a while you do avoid it. It will seem like a relief. But in the long run, it will make the OCD stronger. Every time you perform a compulsion (and avoidance is a compulsion), it teaches your brain that the OCD obsession was true in the first place. But we have to go back to the original OCD obsession. This original obsession is the thought that said that you could not study certain topics. This obsession is a lie! -------- In order to break out of the cycle, you have to start refusing to do the avoidance. That will cause the anxiety to spike a lot! And I know, sometimes I have chosen not to do things like this because I knew the type of anxiety spike it would create. But if you think that you can make it through it, you should go ahead and study that topic, even though the OCD is telling you not to. I know the OCD is torturing you with the thoughts.

@Tea and Honey OCD is saying, "If only you hadn't seen that stupid thing, everything would be OK." And OCD is saying, "If only you hadn't had that thought, then everything would be OK. I know how that feels. I have been in that position 1 million times. I will go back to a point in time and think if only I hadn't messed up there, or if only I hadn't done this or done that, I would be OK right now. However, that's all of the OCD. And the OCD is lying!! You have to zoom out and look at the bigger picture. In the bigger picture, it actually doesn't matter if you saw that thing or not. And it actually doesn't matter if you had a thought about it or not. It actually doesn't matter if you study certain subjects or not. OCD is a huge liar is trying to manipulate you into feeling guilty and regretting the past. But when we zoom out, we can look at the lies of the OCD. The way to break out of the cycle is through ERP. That means you are going to expose yourself to the thing that is scary (which means the forbidden topic) because you are going to show the OCD who is boss. The OCD doesn't actually get to control you. It will feel horrible and when you break the OCD rules. And you may have hours or days or weeks where you actually feel terrible inside. This has happened to me many times. But this is all part of the process of getting better! You are resilient. You can handle it. It almost doesn't matter what sort of yucky feelings we might have inside. What does matter is that we take steps to defeat the OCD. And over time, it gets easier and easier to where the OCD doesn't have so much of a hold on you anymore.