Any and all help is wanted :,(

I have a really weird question and situation. I think I’m developing a crush on someone else. My boyfriend and I broke up last month, and it’s been a mess of contact, no contact, fighting, making up, etc. we’re at a point where he says if I get better with my OCD stuff, and he gets better with his stuff then maybe we’ll make it work again. But I’m starting to think I have a crush on someone else which is NOT okay with me or him if he comes back. What if he texts me while I have these feelings for someone else? I’d drop ANYTHING to be with him right now, and I’d most definitely forget about that guy but right now I feel a weird big curiosity and feelings around said other guy. I tried to follow him on insta to get his attention a while ago and when I saw I still was, I instinctively unfollowed. That’s how badly I want my ex and don’t want to pursue anything else. But when I really started to look at him, and think about it, there was this burning feeling of wanting to get to know him/having some sort of something for him that I DO NOT WANT and don’t want to foster either. He’s really cute and funny, and seems like a great time and it makes me so upset. My feelings can’t be like this if I’m with my ex again. I have no idea what to do. And I can’t tell my ex this. And what if, if I wasn’t trying to get back with my ex, I tried to get with him? Does that mean I like him all along? Idk

EmmaG1524

Date posted: 6h

Only you can answer these things but its possible to still love your partner yet allow yourself to like someone else because you broke up. You must make a decision. If youre not over your ex seems like a bad idea to get with someone else right now. I have a Christian worldview so take this how you will. But you also have the choice to invest back into your partner after getting better with ocd. I would advise looking at what you love about your ex and what you dont like, are there any deal breakers. But you need to stick to one and if you can't make up your mind that might be ocd at play. Ive been cuter men in my relationship as well and sometimes those feelings can pop up but would separate myself from those people for boundaries. I hope that helps!

lillemom

Date posted: 6h

@EmmaG1524 But here’s the thing, im not even debating seeing the other guy! That’s the weirdest part. I know I only want my ex but I can like feel actual feelings for this other guy and I’m sitting around waiting for them to go away because I simply don’t want them at all! Idk how to really explain it but I can’t have a crush and get back with my ex but I don’t want to act on this crush

EmmaG1524

Date posted: 6h

@lillemom You cant just make them go away I would say you have to make a choice! Even in marieage there's ao many people you might feel momentarily attracted to but you love your spouse and you made a commitment.

EmmaG1524

Date posted: 6h

Its normal to feel curiosity but if you'd rather be with your ex, love is a choice you have to choose to fight because thats also marriage! Its fighting for it every day

Anonymous

Date posted: 6h

I think the replies offer good advice! What I would do in your situation is remove any ties or connection to the other guy. That’s what I did in a situation I had. Once I understood my feelings towards the guy I’m in love with, I decided to just ignore other curiosities that might have developed towards other guys.

Anonymous

Date posted: 6h

Part 2: I love my guy so much and don’t want anyone else so I’m committed to him and focusing on him. So in my case being fully sure of my feelings and decision helped a lot. You and your ex want to make it work and that’s a good thing and maybe removing temptation will help.

Anonymous

Date posted: 6h

Part 3: I completely understand the situation is complicated, just know you’re not bad for feeling confused. You already chose your ex/boyfriend over the crush so you could just reassure your thoughts that you’ve already decided. Don’t worry the crush feelings will pass, just takes time. You got this!

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