PLEASE help me out im begging i keep spiraling :(‼️

I just realized something did that was really bad in my last relationship, I have ROCD but I don’t know if this is OCD or just a bad thing. After I got cheated on by a guy (Corey) I saw his friend (Gavin) at graduation and thought he was SO cute. I immediately added him on socials and he added me back, but after a few days the novelty ultimately faded away and I didn’t really care. A few months later I met who would be my boyfriend, (Liam), who also happened to know both of them. I had no romantic care for Gavin and loved Liam, but still had Gavin on snap and would snap him very rarely here and there (almost ALWAYS with Liam if not every time) and now looking back I have no idea why??? Like I wanted to stay in the loop with Gavin because I thought he was cool/his friends were cool but didn’t like him at all??? I also am questioning his connection to my ex Corey and if that was the loop I wanted to stay in? Which seems decently harmless when I think about it lightly enough but now that Liam and I are broken up I’m almost positive I have feelings for Gavin which I do NOT WANT AT ALL and am not acting on but I’m just thinking why did I do that???? And the truth is, I wish I only liked Liam and that things would work out but Gavin keeps playing in my head and guilt is everywhere. Where do I even begin to go about this??? I don’t want these feelings and they’re real, I don’t know why I snapped him trying to still seem cool, I don’t know anything. I miss my liam

camryn715047

Date posted: Yesterday

hey! i know exactly what you’re going through. i had rocd bad in my past relationships. you have to realize first and foremost that nobody’s relationship is perfect and you did not cheat. you are human and young im assuming. you did nothing out of the ordinary

Kevin V

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: Yesterday

You can accept yourself no matter what, even if you do have feelings for Gavin. You might not like that, but it is still something you can accept and move on from. You might have feelings that you dislike, but you can accept those feelings and still live however you want to. It doesn't matter if the feelings are real or not, they do not dictate what you can do or have to do. Having constant thoughts about Gavin may make you uncomfortable, but you don't need to fix that right now. You can allow it to exist as it is.

noono

Date posted: Yesterday

@Kevin V I don’t want to bother, but there’s a very high chance my ex and I get back together. I’m scared I’ll have feelings for Gavin while this is happening and I seriously have no idea what to do about it..do I go for Gavin? I didn’t have a plan to before but now I’m really wondering, me and Liam’s relationship was far from perfect and I don’t know what to do

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

@lillemom Sweet pea, if you're this mixed up about it maybe don't enter a relationship at all and just focus on yourself for awhile. 🫂

noono

Date posted: Yesterday

@Anonymous I just don’t want to miss the chance of fixing things with liam… but gavin keeps running through every thought I have and I know I will never even get with him. I know I need to wait a while but I’m so scared of every outcome I’m just stuck

Anonymous

Date posted: 21h

Well then don't be scared of the outcome, lean into the uncertainty. If you focus on treating your ocd and giving yourself the self compassion and love then things might work out with Liam or they might not. Either way you've done something good for yourself and that's what's important.

Flymetothemoon

Date posted: 10h

You are viewing your feared possible self. Remind yourself that these doubts about romance, love, family, it stems from your want to do it all the right way. Trust yourself to do the right thing and remember that it’s fueled by love so if you mess up in any way, you know in your heart it wasn’t out of malicious intent.

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