Breakup from OCD

So me(20) and my boyfriend(18) had been together about 9 months. We both have OCD. I have been aware of mine for years, worked through the hardest and am now on medication, consistent therapy and in a better place. He only developed/realized his OCD when we started dating. Mine have a lot to do with things like sleep, vomiting, thinking others are mad at me, etc. his come a lot from trauma (father left at 5, abusive alcoholic bf after that) and come off as controlling, worried about how I dress want to know where I’m going needing reassurance about cheating, constantly questioning my texts reactions, words, etc. We come from very different lives (I have a huge family, upper middle class, lots of friends, always doing something, he has just his mom and sister, lower class, no real friend group, no real hobbies or things to keep busy) we met at college and went long distance for the summer in May. We have always had these long emotional conversations, many of which were rooted around OCD thoughts. Many of which were little things that would come from his overthinking, blow up, and we would talk for hours in circles, but get hurt and upset but usually reassure and come to good terms. However this happened, all the time. He also has incredible anxiety regarding alcohol, specifically me drinking. This has been an ongoing battle. Last week I almost ended things because I felt his OCD was making him too controlling, we had had conversation after conversation and if one specific thing was fixed, it then shifted into a new form of obsession. We ended up talking and he made compromises and said he would work through things. On July 4th we went to a party, he made a compromise saying he would be ok with me drinking if he was there. Once I did he realized he wasn’t ready, but didn’t communicate that, and made a somewhat public display of avoiding me. We ended up missing most of the party because he wanted to talk to me about everything, so we sat on the couch as everyone walked by and watched our now very public argument. We talked super late into the night. It’s started with him being very harsh and demanding saying I was choosing alchol over him (I also very rarely drink and have a fear of throwing up so I never go crazy), and saying how he has changed so much for me, even though I never asked him to and want him to be himself, and he then suddenly switched and started saying everything I wanted to hear, he was gonna work on things, make all these changes for me, but I have heard this tale before. And yes, he does work on things and make changes, but new things just keep coming up, it’s never ending and is suffocating. I don’t feel like myself, my ocd has gotten worse with constantly worrying about not setting him off with overthinking. On Sunday I finally ended things, I just couldn’t take the constant uphill battle anymore. He started therapy last week (was very against it but did it because I strongly suggested it, and is still not fully on board but trying). Now I feel just confused. We did have a good connection, even from the moment we met, but it doesn’t feel like a relationship should be this straining. I’m worried I didn’t give him enough time to make changes or work on things, but I mentally couldn’t do the long draining talks every few days and the daily worry of doing all the reassurance things he needs. I feel guilty because my mom says I was the same way when I was younger with my sleep anxiety and obviously my parents stuck through it, is that what I was suppose to do? I felt like I was shrinking myself to help him and worsening my OCD in the process but because we did have a strong connection and he was trying I was suppose to stay. Any thoughts? Advice?