Advice PLEASE 🙏🙏🙏

@Tea and Honey I think that if we take more time, things might end up resolving. I’m just convinced everything needs to be fixed RIGHT NOW and I can’t do that. My biggest fear is actually going for someone else and missing out on my ex. I can’t figure out if this crush is real or not and whenever he pops into my head I get really upset but I can acknowledge the feeling is real I guess? Idk

@noono You would need a lot more time to get to know the new person to see if you really like him or not. The OCD can make you feel instant crushes, but it would take more time to figure out if you have any real interest. Maybe you can spend some time with your ex first to see if that goes anywhere. Don't worry if you think you might be attracted in your head to the other guy. All the OCD thoughts don't matter. You don't need to confess them to your ex. Just try to make the same decisions you would if you didn't have OCD. And DON'T feel like you need to confess any thoughts. :):) One step at a time. Don't worry!

@Tea and Honey This helps a lot thank you so much, I’m just so stuck on the feeling side of it. Like, I’ve had thoughts of other guys and stuff, but this feels like a real “pang”. I had a short little crush on him right after high school and it dissipated really fast when I realized he wasn’t all that. Why can’t I do that again? It also came back right when my ex and I originally broke up, then I realized he wasn’t all that AGAIN, and now it’s back 10 times stronger than ever. He would never date me and that’s completely fine with me but part of me just really wonders what it would be like to know him and I’m jealous of the girls that do

@noono Everything you were describing is part of being human. The human mind flits back-and-forth, and experiences feelings in a lot of different scenarios. And these can be both fake and real. But, in a sense, it doesn't matter if these thoughts or feelings are there or not. You have to let it all go. You have to just let it be in your head without fighting it (just like all the other intrusive thoughts). Let the feelings of attraction be there if they want to be. Let them be there all day--or all week-- if they want to be. You can be aware that it's a false attraction and still "feel" some of it. But the point is, the thoughts and feelings don't matter. When you have OCD, we have to learn to ALLOW the thoughts and feelings to run their course. Let them run wild and free in your head. Don't try to fix them. Don't try to stop them. All that matters is your WILL, and if you choose to do a tangible action of say, cheating. For example, if you actually pick up the phone and call this other guy and then meet up with him and then kiss him, then I think it's clear that you have chosen to pursue him. But if you just have thoughts, dancing around in your head, it doesn't matter at all. No action has been taken. You definitely don't need to confess this to your ex, because at this point, there's no way to know if any of it is real or not. And the truth is that you don't have to know. OCD makes everything so confusing. So you can live by this rule: If l it's just thoughts in your head, just ignore them. You don't need to confess to anyone. The OCD has too much confusion here for you to even try to figure it out. If you actually take an action, let that be a statement about what you really want for your relationships. If you take no action toward this guy, then you don't have to worry if you were attracted to him or not.

@Tea and Honey Even if your attraction toward him is real, you don't have to worry about it. Let it be real, if it wants to be real. In the end, all that matters is your WILL, and the actions that you CHOOSE that are real and tangible, not the things in your head.