Scizo OCD / pls read

I’m afraid, am I actually becoming delusional or experiencing a psychotic episode? I never dealt with this type until recently It all started as what ifs and bc of constant rumination, it just turned into a general idea, which I still refuse to believe and do not like. But since the anxiety has subsided, I’m afraid, if I actually losing it Please, I’m so scared. I don’t want to be crazy, but I know these are not normal or reasonable

Tea and Honey

Date posted: Yesterday

OCD is very weird and strange. It's probably all OCD and not scizo at all. I wouldn't worry. But I would talk about it. Do you want to describe more here? Are you talking to a therapist?

no more running

Date posted: Yesterday

If you ruminate to solve the thoughts, your brain just throws more threatening stuff at you until you give in and at some point there will be unfalsifiable things which you cannot disprove. Notice that the thoughts still cause anxiety in you. not the content in itself but the worry that "if I'm having these bizzarre thoughts maybe I'm going crazy and losing touch with reality" As hard as it sounds, you should stop disproving your thoughts and fighting them, including the thought of "what if I'm going insane" thought. If you give an example, I can help you do that maybe

no more running

Date posted: 10h

Thanks for sharing these. I know it's hard to share them and be vulnerable. They're not as weird as you think. I had all of them and more. You see, If you pay attention you can see that ocd is just making your thoughts more and more extreme because you've responded to all of them by trying to carefully disprove them. You have spent time on them to make sure they're not true but for ocd it's never a 100% certainty. When you say "yeah people cannot be robots or demons though. Because it's sci fi stuff and they're like me but I'm not a robot or demon therefore..." you see you're responding to it as if it's real threat. But ocd can just say "well maybe you are the only human and aliens have made this simulation specifically for you to test you or something and have altered your perception." you cannot give a bullet proof answer to it. Because ocd's claims are unfalsifiable. You know what? Yeah maybe other people are demons disguised as humans and I'm just gonna go drink tea with one of these demons. Instead of firmly disagreeing, you agree. Now when you agree with the thought probably a second layer comes: "look how absurd your thought is. It must be the early stages of schizophrenia", here you should not back down my friend. I usually say to this: "yes I might snap at any moment in fact and be completely insane by tonight. I'm getting crazier second by second" and then you live AS IF it doesn't matter to you whether these thoughts are true or not, while being anxious. They say the scarier an ocd thought feels and the more serious it takes itself, the more boring your responses should become. I'm struggling with something similar right now. When you interact with people, let these thoughts come. Don't suppress them. I've heard a story about a very good therapist and an ocd patient with fear of going crazy. In the first session, the therapist asked something interesting: "Are you willing to become crazy in order to get better?" With a half smile. That's it basically. You should be willing to get worse and then you become better. Take the risk

no more running

Date posted: 10h

Oh I noticed that while I was writing my message, you deleted yours. Now I look like the crazy one😁 Well, hope it helps anyway

nomoreocd24

Date posted: 9h

@no more running You’re completely fine! I apologize, I didn’t realize you responded and I started to worry that I sounded genuinely crazy, felt embarrassed bc I am aware of wacky it all sounds tbh. This is all really helpful advice. Today, I’ve been doing a lot of redirection, avoiding compulsions, and accepting the possibility, as ridiculous or scary as it sounds. Even though the thoughts have persisted, I just continue about my day. I feel like my OCD is trying to test me, though. The more I don’t react, them more strange, outlandish or extreme they become. It tries to come up with something new, building on the same theme or content? Because of rumination, once you get over some what ifs, does your OCD ever try up the antics and switch it up to a general statement, as if it were fact or idea, even though you know on a fundamental level, it violates your truth and principles?

no more running

Date posted: 7h

@nomoreocd24 Well I'm happy that today's been a better day for you so far. And yeah ocd does do that to me a lot. Like it gets annoyed that I'm ignoring it so it says "well if you're not responding, it means that our default position is this scary scenario". We should try to boringly agree with that possibility too. It's very difficult though ocd is very very creative, at least for me. I first had the obsession about solipsism and existential stuff and it made me just realize that I truly cannot know anything for certain. Even if a scientific proof is provided, I cannot prove the nature of reality of the tools or the people that have provided that proof you know what I mean? That's how it started for me. To be suspicious of everything and doubt everything so my brain sort of, felt free to come up with any idea because I couldn't disprove any of them with certainty. But still, when I don't dwell on them or analyze them, they get quieter over time. I hope it gets better for both of us and I trust that you are as real as I am😁

nomoreocd24

Date posted: 7h

@no more running thank you! I know exactly what you mean. I actually have a keen interest in philosophy and OCD tried to turn that on me. I would read a lot of existential philosophy, particularly Camus. I remember for a short stent of time, my OCD focused on the nature of reality. Everything from the classic brain in a vat to the idea of simulation. Now, I’m unconcerned with either situation being a serious possibility, and can find joy in speculating over the details of such hypotheticals. Yeah, even though I don’t actually believe any of the stuff I shared with you, my OCD tries to convince me otherwise, especially if I don’t engage in compulsions. It just feels weird that the thoughts persists, even if I’m not engaging with them that much, and when I do, it’s usually through cognitive diffusion, or accepting the possibility with a “maybe not, maybe so…who knows? Who cares?” The anxiety has subsided significantly, the thoughts have been floating around my head, the whole day, majority of it at least. I hope things get better for you too. Without reassuring you, I can guarantee I’m real. 😁 Best of luck!

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