I can't tell if I have HOCD or I'm in great denial. It feels so unnatural to be with a girl but I feel like I want it? I am scared I don't have any HOCD and I'm just saying this as an excuse to not be gay. I always smile (without even trying) whenever I imagine myself with a boy and when I imagine it with girls, it just feels so lonely and dark. Makes me want to peel my own skin. I really want to be straight again. I know I've always been.

Yeah same I’d only date girls but my mind tells me otherwise so I don’t know what’s real or what to believe.

Omg yes!! It feel natural but at the same time doesn't? Nowsdays I look at attractive girls on the internet and my heart starts beating. It's genuinely scaring me that I'm lesbian

@lemondew Yup me too, wth is this! I know for a fact I’ve been attracted to boys for all my life. How could I be lesbian? And I can’t be bisexual either I never felt anyway towards a girl other than them being physically attractive.

@advice? I feel the same way. But now mind has convinced me that I've had crushes on my best friends and I forced myself to be attracted to boys

@advice? Same here but hocd is trying to make me feel like I was and I know that’s bs cause I know I never have been, cause I remember vividly liking guys. And I am sometimes like “maybe I wasn’t aware” and I’m like “no I would be cause I was aware of it for boys” so ya. It’s so confusing. And I have anxiety even thinking about it, do you guys feel like that? Like it’s just constant anxiety and heavy feeling on your chest, like you can’t eat and stuff. Almost fear? Or is that just me

@annehatesocd No it isn't just you. Whenever I go out I feel like I'm attracted to all the girls and makes me feel uncomfortable and fatigued. Makes me so tired I just walk slow to cope with it

@lemondew Do you ever get a dizzy feeling when your surrounded by lots of people in public?

@JS0406 Yes, I do and these days I feel so tired and dizzy that I just want to be in bed and do nothing. Makes me really wish I never existed at all

@lemondew Exact same as me

@JS0406 Kills me from inside to know I'm gay or I could possibly be one. I also constantly reassure I'm straight and check to see whether Im attracted to girls. I've been doing it so often, it's now something I do subconsciously and I can't control

@lemondew Same I need to check if I’m attracted to guys but if we keep checking and checking it makes us believe that we are actually attracted

@lemondew I know it’s hard to control and you can’t stop yourself

@JS0406 Honestly I've checked so many times I genuinely feel like I AM attracted to girls and now I'm not at peace at all

@JS0406 Yes I really cannot and it pains me.