Work issues

I have a very toxic work environment (not just me vs boss but boss vs everyone) and I just had a two hour meeting with her and I where she’s telling me how poor I am doing at the job. There’s really nothing wrong and all her claims are based off of “(she) feels like” and no actual facts. My mental health has been plummeting the last few months due to this role- causing a huge spike in my ocd symptoms. I feel like I truly need to leave but I financially can not. I’ve had many jobs before and I am currently applying and interviewing for a few but the job market is rough right now especially in my field. I am constantly being manipulated, told one thing and when it’s done get told that’s not what I was told to do etc. it’s a lot of mind games with her. I have an app that helps me track my stress levels and it’s very bad, my blood pressure is up etc. essentially it’s an emotional, mental and physical stress on me. Advice on what to do to be financially ok if I do need to leave?

melogan517

Date posted: 11h

I am in a very similar situation! It is so emotionally and physically draining to be in a pressure cooker every day at work. Additionally, my boss relies on me to pick up the team and help keep the flow of things, so it is a tough mental gymnastics. I would say don’t be afraid to use any sort of “rainy day fund” for this. Today is the rainy day and you need to allow yourself time to decompress and get your head on straight before starting a new job, and so you can learn to cope with your symptoms again and regulate! I am TERRIFIED to quit my current job anticipating the backlash, but I know that it will be for the better in the long haul. You’ve got this!

amfdr

Date posted: 11h

@melogan517 Unfortunately, I was laid off (no fault of mine) two years ago and it took me until 8 months ago to find this job. So, my rainy day fund has long ago been in a drought.

Ben84

Date posted: 10h

Trying to find something new seems to be something in your control, so keep that up. Are you documenting your interactions? I would imagine you can begin to doubt yourself, so writing down when you're asked to do something can at least give you something to look back at if her actions start to make you question yourself.

amfdr

Date posted: 10h

@Ben84 I am not joking when I say that I have brought her paperwork that she gave me, highlighted her words and she still denies that it was the directions given

Ben84

Date posted: 10h

@amfdr Then yes, if medical leave is an option, take it. Do you have anybody who can provide moral support whether family, friend, therapist?

amfdr

Date posted: 10h

@Ben84 Thankfully, I do have a wonderful family who understand and support me (mentally not financially) and a decent therapist who knows that I have been through with my work environment. And obviously this community which in the few days I’ve been on here is super welcoming and lovely.

Ben84

Date posted: 10h

@amfdr I think you're on the right track. I understand change is difficult and risky even when you're convinced it's necessary.

Green Eyed K...

Date posted: 11h

Oh wow. My job has long and short term disability for just this reason, and it is covered by my employer for a few weeks. Because you have medical issues, you might qualify for medical leave if your doctor will sign off on it. This could allow you the time and space to rest and look for another job. Is this a possibility?

amfdr

Date posted: 11h

@Green Eyed Kitty Unfortunately, it’s a very small company so the person who would be processing my leave… is the boss who is the issue

Green Eyed K...

Date posted: 11h

@amfdr 😳 Goodness. Well, maybe you could still frame it as a strictly “MEDICAL” leave for your health (which it would be) suggested by your doctor along with FMLA so you would have job protection.

amfdr

Date posted: 11h

@Green Eyed Kitty I could but somehow I feel like she’d guilt me into staying and since it’s after this discussion she’ll make assumptions (and be right) that I was unable to “handle the job”

Green Eyed K...

Date posted: 10h

Your health is more important than whatever she is thinking right now. She will probably think petty, negative thoughts regardless. Why not take the leave you mentally, emotionally, and medically need so that you can plan your escape on their dime? You might even find another job in the meantime. If you don’t find another job straight away, you will at least have taken a beat to plan your work strategy when you return.

Ben84

Date posted: 10h

I agree. If you can take medical leave, then do so.

Wolverine li...

Date posted: 10h

Have you gotten HR involved?

amfdr

Date posted: 10h

@Wolverine lives on Unfortunately, as a small company, we don’t have HR. Which is very funny and ironic because I used to be an HR benefits and leave specialist (laid off) So the boss in question serves as the resident “hr” when it comes to payroll etc

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