So ocd

I am so fucking tired. I feel like I’m literally trapped inside my own head. When I felt anxiety and stress while the thoughts and checking appear it was fine, I mean not exactly fine but at least I knew that I didn’t want that thoughts to be true since I felt so anxious and stuff, but now I don’t feel anxious anymore. I imagined kissing a girl and I think I liked it? I don’t know what I think anymore. I didn’t have any anxiety or it didn’t feel wrong. I mean it didn’t feel right either I didn’t feel butterflies or I wasn’t happy but i wasn’t neutral either? I mean I do think that women are very beautiful, but like in a platonic way, at least I think so, but when I look at men I feel completely neutral, so like maybe I do prefer being with women? I’ve been overthinking all of it for five months now it gotten to the point where I am literally convinced I want to be fr with a girl. I don’t want to want one. I really just want to be straight. I feel like I’m losing my mind.

Cat-Mom

Date posted: 19h

Maybe, maybe not. What I will tell you is many straight women think women are more appealing to look at than men. I always observe what a woman wears, I’ve thought about kissing women while out with gay friends. I still only pursued relationships with men. What does that mean? I don’t know! I’m committed to not figuring it out right now and staying with a man who loves and supports me and who I love too. I don’t know if this helps

Anonymousgirl4

Date posted: 18h

@Cat-Mom Yeah thanks, i try to think this way. It’s just it feels so real this time, like it’s actually what I want, I don’t even get strong thoughts against it, even tho I don’t really want it to be true, idk I’ll be going to therapist soon so maybe it will help.

Cat-Mom

Date posted: 18h

@Anonymousgirl4 If it didn’t try convincing us this was what we wanted, we wouldn’t need therapy/meds!

Mike-

Date posted: 17h

This is actually what happens to me too as a straight guy I usually have constant thoughts about being with an another guy or sexual thoughts etc And it feels too real and convincing and so repetitive/persistent But i guess ive learned to just notice them and name them as intrusive thoughts/ocd and let them pass (and when i do this btw it tries to sneak up with the “you’re repressing yourself” angle- but i let that pass without doing anything abt it too) and just shift my attention to whatever else i was doing or just doing something else even if its playing in my mind

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