How can I convince my parents to let me do Roger’s

I’m 20 years old and my ocd is really bad. My therapist at an ocd specialty center said that they can’t accept me as a patient in the fall unless I do Roger’s PHP or residential, because from November to April I met with a therapist there who had a supervisor twice a week, and we saw no benefit. When I ask my parents about Roger’s, there are constantly reasons as to why I can’t do it (ex. It’s out of state, I don’t have the money for it and they aren’t paying it, etc.). Even if I had the money for it, they would say they wouldn’t want me using my dads insurance (I don’t have my own insurance plan) to pay for it, and could take me off of their insurance. They are also extremely against me taking a semester off of college to do it. When I say extremely against I mean extremely against. They yell at me and tell me I press too much when I bring it up. They’ve also told me that my situation has affected the family and made people not sleep well, and my dad said he needs to put an used the oxygen mask analogy and said oxygen mask on himself first. I feel like I may just have to deal with the ocd until I graduate in a year and then figure out what to do, but I’d like not to. How do I convince my parents about this when they get so angry about it, and won’t talk to any healthcare providers about it or listen to them?

Anonymous💓

Date posted: 17h

I'm really sorry you're going through this. I know how painful and frustrating it can be when you know you need help but the people around you don't fully understand what you're experiencing. I went through something very similar. My mom was okay with me seeing a psychologist, but she refused to let me see a psychiatrist or take medication. She was worried that I might have to stay on medication for the rest of my life, even though my specialist believed medication could be helpful for my situation. At that time, I was in my final year of high school and struggling a lot. I wanted to stop studying so I could focus on treatment, but she didn't agree. It was one of the hardest periods of my life. Somehow, I managed to get through my final exams. It wasn't easy at all, but I graduated with a good grade, even though I had previously been an excellent student. I was still able to receive treatment from a well-known OCD specialist online who used exposure and response prevention (ERP). My family didn't always fully understand what I needed during my recovery, so I learned to encourage myself, be compassionate with myself, understand my OCD, and appreciate the effort I was making. One of the biggest things that helped me improve was facing my fears gradually and not giving up. There was a time when I couldn't even leave my house because of anxiety and intrusive thoughts. Now, I'm able to go outside and work. I also decided to take a year off from university so I could focus on my recovery. I still have setbacks sometimes, and sometimes I slow down my own progress without meaning to, but I understand what I'm going through and I keep moving forward. I know how important support is, especially when dealing with OCD. Unfortunately, not everyone has a family that understands how difficult this disorder can be. I truly understand how hard this situation is for you. If possible, try surrounding yourself with positive people, improving your social life, and building healthy habits. That made a big difference for me and gave me extra strength during my recovery. You're stronger than you think. Keep going—there is still so much time ahead of you, and recovery is possible. And if you ever need someone to talk to or just want to vent, feel free to leave a comment on my profile. I'll be happy to reply❤

anonymous23635

Date posted: 16h

@Anonymous💓 That’s really helpful, thanks! I think I could try and calmly have a conversation with them or ask my psychiatrist to speak with them, although they said they won’t talk to my psychiatrist. I think facing my fears gradually and controlling more controllable compulsions (non mental compulsions) could be a step forward. Surrounding myself with friends could be important too. At least when I’m out of college, I can make my own decisions more, I just hope there’s some way I am able to improve through behavioral therapy myself. I’m not seeing a therapist now, cause the one at home is on maternity leave and I’m paying for therapy and it hasn’t benefited me yet, and probably won’t unless it’s a PHP program or residential, so I’m trying to save money for other things to treat ocd I want to do

Anonymous💓

Date posted: 17h

I know this situation feels extremely difficult right now, but there is still hope and there may be different paths forward. Sometimes we go through very hard situations, but those challenges can also make us stronger and help us grow. If you feel able to, maybe you could try having another calm conversation with them, or ask your therapist or OCD specialist to help explain your needs and why this treatment is important. I understand that your situation seems serious and that you may need a higher level of treatment, so finding a way to communicate how important this is could be helpful. What do you think about looking into other possible solutions that might also support you during this time?

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