How to ask parents for therapy

I dont know if i have ocd or not but i have these extremely distressing and disturbing thoughts, i have had them most of my life i am 17 now , it started when i was arount 10-11 , my whole childhood went withvthese disturbing thoughts, now i have pressure of studies and managing all of this has been super hard , i have been in therapy once but i was a child then i wasn’t able to explain all this properly, like i was scared to tell that i think maybe because i didn’t do the compulsions caused someone’s death - i have spiralled about that a child alot but i was too scared to tell all this so i used to tell the therapist in very bits a peices but somehow it got misinterpreted and she told my parents that the child just needs attention and therapy stopped I internalized all of it i felt guilty for disturbing them , even today i feel really guilty for asking basic needs - they feel that therapy is basically they take money for random talking - i cant have medicines because it has a lot of side effects which can hinder my studies , i feel really really stuck in this loop , i am tired of the mental rechecking , i don’t have compulsions now it somehow stopped between after the therapy thing happened probably i dont remember much after the therapy thing , but now i feel like i have these cycles of depressive episodes where its really really hard , ifdk what to do, tho my parents are generally supportive but i have this guilt that doesnt let me yk ask for it and also they dont find therapy very helpful, but all my life i have just kept stuff inside never talked about it after that particular incident, maybe it wasn’t that huge but it has stayed with me , the guilt is still there in its worse form , and everything feels so tangled that a normal person wont understand the mix of intrusive thoughts and all the damage i did to myself all these years , i am genuinely so so tired , i have lost interest in most of the things i feel like i have lost myself, like the body is present here but my mind feels dead , i have these perfectionist traits which makes me do all the work everything like for ex - if i skip one assignment because i am exhausted, i cant tell u the level of self criticism and guilt happens , its so so exhausting

oliviabroewn

Date posted: 17h

Whether it’s OCD or not, this seems to affect your life greatly. I’m the same age as you and have been dealing with that same exhaustion, also with no therapy treating the OCD itself. I totally understand that fear of burdening your parents and the guilt but reaching out is a great first step to getting the help you need. If they are worried about a medications often short-lived initial side effects hindering studies, I feel like the constant anxiety and exhaustion affects that more, no? I completely understand the feelings you’re having, and therapy would do you a lot of help, I’m sure. Maybe try writing out the way you want to explain your feelings to your parents and then tell them? You guys could research together psychiatrists/therapists in your area that are a good fit and specialize in what you struggle with. It will take some time, but starting now is better than never. And I’m not sure about the therapists on here, but maybe you could look into that too? Either way I wish you the best of luck and I hope you can push past the people-pleasing feeling of burdening your parents and get your feelings out to them.

Anonymous:((

Date posted: 17h

@oliviabroewn Thank you sm for replying, means so much <33 , i ll try to talk to them

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