Rumination with conflict

Does anyone else have this issue with conflict? My brain creates these scenes where I’m having a full blown argument or confrontation with someone. It’s like a scene, not a “what if they say this” . It’s full blown scene, I’ll say this and they say that and then it escalates, then I’m angry or anxious in real time as if it’s actually right happening right now. Before I realize I’m having a whole altercation in my head. It’s automatic and it’s endless. It’s very imagery based rather than verbal “what ifs?” \* It happens with multiple people, not just one person. \* It starts automatically. \* I can become emotionally activated before realizing what is happening. \* I recognize afterward that it was happening in your mind. Usually it’s triggered by people who I’ve had a bad conflict with. It drives me insane and it’s endless.

oliviabroewn

Date posted: 12h

I’ve heard it’s a common mental compulsion with people with OCD. I think from engaging the thought. Oftentimes I do this mental argument with my obsessions once I engage the thought. I have to stop it by basically yelling at myself in my head to stop and cut it off with a complete different thought/action.

linnked

Date posted: 12h

Yup, that's a big thing for me, currently doing very specific erp for this. It's been getting a little better over time, but I've been told it's a gradual process.

Cherno

Date posted: 12h

@linnked Can you please tell what you’ve done? I’ve been struggling my whole life?

linnked

Date posted: 11h

@Cherno - I'll just give one example. I have an obsession that I keep coming back to "I had a conversation today that didn't go how I thought it would go. It feels like there is something that I can do right now to help. What if I look back and regret not doing something right now?" I usually would cope by mentally reviewing the conversation, where I couldn't understand someone's reaction, or felt I was misunderstood, or was embarrassed. I would ruminate endlessly about it, imagine future conversations where I would be validated, or ones where everything would go wrong and fights would break out, and everything in between. Just trying to find certainty in some way, or reach some level of reassurance. The ERP for this is "Recall or imagine a conversation at work where you felt like you looked stupid, and dug yourself into a hole trying to explain yourself or make it better in some way. Then imagine your coworkers' facial expressions when you react like this." I have to do this without mentally reviewing, imagining conversations, or seeking certainty or reassurance in any way. After like 5-10 minutes the discomfort of the situation in my head relaxes a little bit, and I feel pretty good usually. Don't use this as a template to make your own ERP, do it with a therapist. They have experience, they know your situation, and this stuff is not intuitive at all. What works for me may not work for you.

Anonymous

Date posted: 11h

My mind used to create random scenarios of me failing or embarrassing myself or feeling hurt and weak in a conflict or some type of social interaction as well. It was terrible at the time.

Avajw

Date posted: 5h

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