ROCD

@Taylor F. This well put. We are not our past. We are all human so we all make mistakes. I have my fair share of them for sure. I do know that I am not the same person I was years ago. What matters is that I am aware enough and care enough to not make those same mistakes again. And that I am willing and able to learn and grow to become a better version of myself.

@Taylor F. He def has every right to be upset with me but for me it’s the what ifs in my head that what if this triggers him to go off and do something, I didn’t cheat, but I’d rather not share. I just think of stuff I see a bunch of other men do to their gfs/ wives, and they never know about it and I’m like, what if that happens to me?

@MeggyEgg I’m not asking you to share the mistake. There’s no need. It wouldn’t change my feedback. I like how @alan87 put it also - what matters is that you’re AWARE and you CARE enough to not make the same mistakes again. Mistakes happen to everyone. You, hypothetically, could be with someone else and have the exact same “What-If Worries”. Anyone CAN, but not everyone will. And if they care about you too, they won’t intentionally hurt you. And if they do, they probably aren’t meant to be in your life anyways. You see or hear men doing things behind their wives/gfs back because it happens. It’s a reality. Until this person gives you something to worry about - try not to. I know, I know… easier said than done. And to answer your question of “what if that happens to me?”, WHAT IF? What would you do? Would you stay? Leave? You can always have a plan. That’s a boundary - that once crossed you get to determine how you respond. You can’t control anyone else, but you can control your actions and reactions. Honesty is always the best policy and you and your partner should recognize that you didn’t try to lie and hide a mistake, that in a trusting relationship, the other person would want to know about. You are in control of your own behavior (the very thing that you’re upset with). Actions have consequences and relationships take work from both sides to be successful - no relationship is perfect. If someone thinks less of you or if they look for someone else, maybe the problem wasn’t you to begin with…. Ultimately, it sounds like sharing with them was the right thing to do. Now you just have to sit with it and process it. Guilt sounds like a normal response to something you know was wrong. But - you can try to show them you care and try to be a better version of yourself for that person.

@Anonymous Yes, I just felt that telling the truth was the best thing I could do and to get it off my chest. I hate feeling guilty and I always want to tell the truth. But I’m so upset at my behavior and now so scared because what if he thinks less of me and starts looking elsewhere for someone else or something, idk I’m just worried.