Tips for harm OCD?

Hi! Hope everyone is having a good Monday. I started NOCD about 1 ish months ago. More structured ERP has been helping, but some specific forms of harm OCD that involve severe, impactful/irreversible harm seem to hit harder than others. Though I know the root cause for all harm OCD is fearing I would be the type of person to be violent or harmful, using the same approach to face the more severe harm themes doesn’t seem to be working as well. Any tips?

Catlove9

Date posted: 25d

Harm OCD has been the hardest theme for me. I struggle with intrusive urges or feeling like I want to do it or have to do it. When I start to panic, I try to remember what I was doing and continue doing it. No matter how scared I get. It’s so tough and takes a lot of practice. But if you can, try to continue doing what you were doing or do something you like doing even though you’re scared.

Skyline 🕊️

Date posted: 24d

Harm OCD was the hardest theme for me. Honestly, what helped me the most was using the DARE Response by Barry McDonagh. As terrifying as it was to think, “What if I snap?” or “What if I go crazy?” I started telling myself, “If or when that happens, I’ll handle it then.” That phrase became my ERP. I didn’t want to consider the possibility, but by allowing the uncertainty to exist instead of fighting it, the fear gradually lost its power. Trust me—I was hiding anything that I thought could potentially be harmful. My harm OCD was directed toward my husband, and he is my whole world. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever been through, but I got through it, and you can too. Also, my intrusive thoughts weren’t always “what if” thoughts. Sometimes they felt like statements, and I experienced urges too. For the urges, I used the DARE Response. I would say, “Whatever!” to the thought or feeling, then calmly repeat, “I accept and allow these anxious thoughts and feelings,” once or twice—or for as long as the urge lasted—while taking slow, steady breaths. Then I’d say, “Woo! This feels like I’m about to go down a roller coaster!” and I’d go right back to whatever I was doing instead of engaging with the OCD. That approach didn’t make the thoughts disappear overnight, but it taught my brain that I didn’t need to fear them or solve them. Over time, they lost their grip on me.

hilolol

Date posted: 13d

@ Skyline 🕊️ girl thank u so much for this iv been having harm ocd towards myself for the last couple of days after hearing someone i know died from suicide and it’s so scary it feels so real aswell. but i went through such a scary panic attack and i kinda just feel numb at the moment but it also feels like nothing will help me even tho i know but i get those thoughts any tips??

Skyline 🕊️

Date posted: 10h

@hilolol Hey! I’m sorry, I’m just now seeing this. I’ve experienced this too. For me, it was almost like my brain suddenly picked up on the fact that this was a possibility in life, but I learned to understand that just because something can be a possibility doesn’t mean it has to be my possibility. For the thoughts, you could use the DARE approach too. When the thought pops up, you can say, “Whatever, anxiety.” Then accept and allow those anxious feelings and thoughts. Run toward that anxiousness at full speed with an enthusiastic, “Wooo! This feels like I’m about to go down a roller coaster! I love this excitement!” You don’t have to actually believe it—fake it till you make it, friend. The point isn’t to convince yourself that you genuinely love feeling anxious; it’s to stop treating the feeling like something you need to escape from. Then the E is Engage with whatever it was you were doing. Just go about your day, unscathed by the stupidity of the thought. During my journey, I learned what being a “wet noodle” meant. My definition is basically learning to live life unbothered and happily. You may wake up tomorrow and fear that you’re going to go crazy, harm yourself, or whatever the fear happens to be, but we have to learn to shrug it off. Sometimes saying, “I don’t freaking care,” is the most loving thing you can do for yourself. One other thing, as far as feeling numb or even experiencing possible derealization or depersonalization: for me, I had to learn to almost fake-love it. I had to live in it and accept it as my new normal instead of constantly waiting for it to go away. If I noticed it was there in the morning, I’d say, “COOL! It’s back, baby!” You don’t have to actually like it or believe that you like it. For me, pretending to be excited about it helped me stop being afraid of it. If I caught myself during the day or right before bed thinking, “Oh my gosh, why is this still here? Yada yada…” I would flip that switch and say, “BECAUSE I FREAKING LOVE THIS, THAT’S WHY!” I know it sounds extreme, but for me, running toward the feeling instead of trying to get away from it was what finally broke the cycle. Within about a week of doing this, I noticed a huge difference. But don’t get caught up in thinking you have to do it perfectly. If you can only get to “Okay, this is here and I’m going to keep living my life,” that’s still acceptance. The goal is simply to stop fighting the feeling and stop letting it dictate what you do. You don’t deserve to spend your life fighting this invisible beast. Don’t let it convince you otherwise. You’ve got this, friend! Be a wet noodle. ❤️ hope this helped.

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