Community discussion: Ask anything

@cazzzyv the main goal of erp is the acceptance and eventual defeat of intrusive thoughts and compulsions, so essentially you're meant to sit with the discomfort and let the bad thoughts linger until it starts to feel less uncomfortable. if done repeatedly, you can get over your feelings of discomfort in certain situations that trigger ocd because your brain can eventually learn that nothing bad will happen if you don't perform a compulsion.

@cazzzyv It's not so much about trying to think of something less frightening as it is choosing not to engage with your thoughts/worries. You do this by refusing to do whatever the OCD wants you to do, whether that's ruminating, reassurance seeking, excessive hand washing, or whatever else. It's about accepting uncertainly and trusting that thoughts are just thoughts. Thoughts are not evil and they're not fact. How that looks in practice can be highly individualized depending on your specific obsessions/compulsions, and a treatment plan is best developed with the help of a specialist.

@Mercury75 By the way this doesn't mean that ERP is easy or straightforward. It also doesn't have to be done perfectly to be effective over time.

@alan87 ruminating on the same thought over and over and over and over again in hopes to find an answer to an unanswerable question, or reviewing your memories in your head over and over and over again to make sure you didn’t hallucinate and make something up

Thinking in circles! One question or worry leads to another, and then somehow I arrive right back where I started. But because it kind of feels like a journey, I don't even notice I'm retreading old ground and I just keep going. And even when I catch myself, there's just some need to dive back in because it just feels like I won't have peace until I "figure it out". It's exhausting. Before I knew I had OCD I'd be so confused about why I'd have zero energy some days.

@YuvikaBedi Thank you for your reply. I struggle with rumination of real events that happened years ago and why I did them, what did it mean, should I confess, am I a bad person, does this mean I am not a good person, etc. I know I am not the same person I was years ago. So I try to focus on who I am now and on Jesus.

@ScootScoot I completely relate to this. Thought spiral or circles for me of rumination on real events or mistakes from my past. Some days the thoughts are there and I am able to not pay them much attention. Other days like today, they come rushing in and it’s all I can think of.

@alan87 Oh that's similar to me! If it's a "good" day I feel pretty normal, but days where I'm off balance emotionally open the doors and it all floods in. My themes are existential and I get obsessed with how I'm not living life correctly and what I need to do to fix it. 🙃

@ScootScoot I have some existential themes as well, mine starts going down the road of meanings and all that. But yes, today I was feeling fine, but I decided to take a nap because I was tired, I took my nap and then woke up a little on edge. Normally I take naps when Im feeling on edge so there’s that. OCD is terrible.

@alan87 I do mental compulsions literally all day every day :/ since its mental it’s harder to avoid because it is very sneaky. But in my case basically anything (from a normal everyday interaction to a memory from the past) can trigger me into thinking too much about something “did i look at that homeless person wrong?, do they think i hate and feel disgusted by them now?” “did i behaved appropriately in that situation that happened 2 years ago?” “what did i really meant by the way i looked at that person?” “am i a horrible person for this mistake i did and what can i do to deserve to be forgiven?” and most of the times are things that are problems only on my mind and no one else cares about.

@beaaaeffghjhhggf Thank you for your response. Im slowly learning about my mental compulsions. I think Ive had OCD my whole life when I think back at how I was thinking as a kid, teen and now into my late-30s. I do a lot of mental reviewing, checking for certain thoughts, discerning what ifs, so on. How have you handled your mental compulsions?

@alan87 I recently realized I've had OCD my whole life too, it feels sad but also kinda freeing at the same time? I do that too! Honestly, it's one of the hardest compulsions to stop for me, because most of the time I only notice I'm doing it halfway through. But I've been trying to tell myself "I don't have to resolve this right now, maybe later" and it helps a lot. Postponing makes me sit with the discomfort and the scary what ifs, but it also takes away that urgent feeling. And in the best cases, I don't even engage with the thought again :-) Really hope you get better, and I'm glad we can connect over this.

@YuvikaBedi this is exactly what it feels like im so tired :(

@beaaaeffghjhhggf The Bible says that even if someone messes up the same thing 70 times 70 times, that he will always forgive us, and that we should forgive others. And no, you are not a horrible person. Sending love 💜💜💜

@💜Cinderella💜 Thank you for your words ❤️

@beaaaeffghjhhggf Me too! Sorry for the late reply. I think that is the same for me, I only notice my mental reviewing after I’m already deep in the rumination and thought. After the feeling of urgency, impending doom or anxiety have taken hold. Glad we are not alone, unfortunately fortunately lol :) be well friend! Comment anytime you want to chat!

@Primavera1627! I guess I just identify them “this is an intrusive thought from my ocd” and if I have any doubts (meta ocd) I just think “even if it’s not, it doesn’t matter, worrying/ruminating will not help anything.”

@Primavera1627! You don’t need to forgive yourself for anything it’s something happening to you that you have no control over you have control over your reaction and to learn to just not care no matter what you’re feeling or thinking just live your life

@Anonymous For me, I sought God to show me and He did! Your life has so much purpose :) But also there’s a tool where to find your calling you can writes a list of things you love and are passionate about, a list of things you’re good at, and then identify needs in the community that you could help solve/be paid for. Then try to find the intersection of these all. Outside of work, I felt God tell me to write a bucket list after a hard breakup and so I wrote 5 things, including family goals, travel goals, and fitness goals. I love thinking about these! Then to be more practical, when I was in IOP they gave us a SMART goal worksheet to help plan one big goal we have with practicals needs and timeline. Hope this helps!

@cNatDeFrn It is annoying for sure, and if it weren’t for informative YouTube videos, I am not sure if I would have sought out a diagnosis and treatment. I have had it since the age of 3, and I was diagnosed at the age of 51.

@Indigoglow Sometimes its hard because it feels like you just can’t win. But I always think about how I want to be able to appreciate things and people I love without making everything about my OCD.

@Indigoglow I love your profile picture!!!

@Chickenstrips My story is different than a lot I've heard. My OCD said I was the bad person if I judged people, so I ended up dating people I never even would have been friends with if not for OCD. It was a sad situation, and I didn't recognize it for a lot of years.

@Amy B. I had a similar experience. I dated someone I would never even enjoy their company. It was incredibly toxic but I had this weird compulsion? to believe I loved them and I was supposed to. It’s like whenever something happened that made me dislike this person further I’d feel the urge to make myself love them, that’s the best I can explain it

@Amy B. Thank you for sharing.

@Chickenstrips I appreciate you sharing this.

@Chickenstrips I'm sorry you went through that. OCD makes life so complicated.

Try to really sit with it. I've noticed a lot of negative emotions felt so bad because my gut response was to try to fix it or ignore it. I learned if I just let myself feel it, it's kinda like validating yourself in a way. As if you're not wrong or broken for feeling that emotion. I think through that you can feel a little more at ease and pick yourself back up, and realize whatever is scaring you isn't that scary.

@ Chris Gilruth Don't get past the fear before recognizing it as a false alarm. If it feels urgent and desperate, then maybe it's OCD so treat it as such. Sit in it, don't try to get past it. Feel it until your body comes down on it's own.

@Anonymous for me, my obsessions are looping thoughts, thoughts i just can’t let go of until (compulsion) i typically act on them. ex; small things i find myself obsessing over like “did i set an alarm?” “what if i didn’t set an alarm?” until (compulsion) checking if i set an alarm! sometimes there is no compulsion for me just obsession and reassurance seeking that happens. hope this helped a little bit :)

@Adeodatus It has affected my ability to work. I'm trying to get to the point where I can have a full time job again. It has made a huge void between me and my family. That hurts so much.

@Adeodatus It definitely has. I recently quit orchestra because of the guilt I had not practicing at home (contamination ocd) and the stress of extra cleaning coming home twice for concerts. It affects my general school work and grades as well because I don’t have a place at home that I think is clean enough for me to sit & dirty enough to place my homework on. My only option currently is uncomfortably reaching over the side of my beanbag with my work on the floor.

@Adeodatus Not at all I use it for fuel to achieve whatever I want in life. You can do hard things I promise you that

@Anonymous I have both adhd is common with ocd because your mind is always runnin

@Anonymous There have been study’s done that show the two are related, I have ADHD and basically my whole family does too.

@Anonymous My cousin does, but I haven't talked to her for years.

@Anonymous Yes, my mother has it, and her father more than likely had it.

@Anonymous-My grandma and my uncle!

@bokang Not specific to work OCD, but a helpful litmus test I use all the time is "would a normal/sane/average person be worried about this as much as I am? Would they even be worried at all?"

@bokang I wonder this too! It’s a struggle to decipher when to trust your gut vs. when to realize that you might be unrealistically concerned.

@Anonymous Have someone bring a lion in the room 🫣😂 I’m sorry you are going through this

@Cleanmyselfup Sit with the discomfort and live by your values

@Savannah2 Health OCD made manmade foods unsafe and I was only able to eat Earth— fruits, veggies, nuts, beans… Then it took cooking from me, so I had to eat them raw. It was rough. There’s now a term “orthorexia,” but I had no clue what it was at the time. Was later able to recognize it in my daughter, who also has OCD and has also recovered to a point of remission, I’d say, as it always hovers over us. Hope this helps!