Idk what to do

Guys idk what to do anymore. I’ve dealt with GAD since I was 12 years old and now I’m 19. I’ve switched to online school in 10th and 11th grade and stopped attending school towards the end of 9th because of how severe my anxiety is. I remember my counseling asking me how I could possibly survive college since college campuses are way bigger and to that I had no answer. Someone who has been a huge supporter and has pushed me through my anxiety is my boyfriend however I think over the years we’ve been together I’ve relied on him so much I’ve became a depend person, constantly asking for reassurance, asking to hold my hand in public, asking to go in places that I can handle, basically my shield of protection. Just a few years ago is when my anxiety had started to transform into so many different areas that included health anxiety, ocd anxiety thoughts, panic disorder, and agoraphobia. I am only diagnosed with GAD and now panic disorder that got diagnosed to me about a month ago and I just don’t know what’s wrong with me. I sit at home most of the time, pretty much all the days I have off from work and I’m kinda just bed rotting and terrified of even stepping outside. My anxiety was this bad. I’d say around three years ago to four years ago and I ended up getting a counselor which did help me. But I think my biggest supporter was my boyfriend who really pushed me to participate in things such as the lip dub for my high school. I wasn’t able to finish because I got super anxious in the moment and it was pretty embarrassing because I kind of walked off during the life thing and I started crying afterwards but that’s besides the point. I was going in the stores had no agoraphobia, I felt amazing. I also had a really bad fears of going to my college orientation orientation, which I did attend by myself, and I actually was so proud of myself because I was so nervous that I wasn’t gonna be able to do it. Fast forward now already done with my first year, i’ve been on my summer break, but I feel like there’s been such a downward spiral since school got out for me. I have fears that I’m going to die every day, I don’t go outside, i’m constantly scanning my body for issues and always feel very tired and I always feel nervous to even get up just to go to the shower because I know that I’m gonna probably feel dizzy. I have a really bad symptom of dizziness, but I’ve always kind of had it. I feel like there’s just been things that have been able to distract myself. I can tell I am way more depressed than ever and I really don’t have any motivation to actually get up and change and be different. I want to be different because I want to change because it ruins relationships, especially with my boyfriend who I’m so dependent on but it’s so hard when anxiety and depression are both kind of coming at you. I feel like such a child for the way how I act and how bad my anxiety is and it really kind of sucks because I’m so convinced that there’s always something wrong with me when they’re never really is and then I feel like I seem crazy because I’m feeling the sensations yet. It’s really just all in my head. i’ve been wanting to go on a hike with my boyfriend because that’s also what you’ve been wanting to do, but I just have had no motivation and I don’t really know how to push myself to have motivation. I also don’t have my license yet for this reason which I wanted to get this summer, but I don’t know if it’s still gonna be a thing. I want to live my life how normal 19-year-olds do however, I feel like my mental health has really prevented me from doing those things along with confidence and a greater support system rather than just one person. I do have a counselor and I haven’t seen her for a little over a year, but I feel like I haven’t found much success with her as I did with the other counselor I used to have a few years back and maybe that’s because my old counselor taught me all my skills and now that I already know skills it’s just a matter of me using them? Idk but all I know is I feel suck and hopeless