Is it possible to recover from real event themes?

Hi there everybody. My life has been pretty rough lately. I can’t put into words how incredibly overwhelmed I am. Everything feels heavy, everything feels difficult, everything feels too much. I’ve been trying to stay positive, I’ve managed to stop looking for reassurance, I’ve managed to reduce compulsions: but it never goes away. It’s always there in the back of my mind, reminding me all the things I did as a young teenager and some things that happened perhaps 2-1 years ago. I know everybody regrets something they’ve done in the past, but I feel like my case is far worse. Not because I like to say it, but because it really feels like it. It feels like I’m drowning. Every single day. I’d say the major trigger happened when I experienced yet another heartbreak, which pushed me into thinking that I deserve to be alone. I’ve finally managed to access therapy, but I’m not on a regular treatment yet and my first session didn’t happen yet. Please, any tips, any experiences, anything will help. Thanks <3

Luna78

Date posted: 14h

I always think about past events and I constantly feel that I am a horrible person for something that happened 10 years ago. I practically relive past events in my mind for no good reason. It is horrible. Unfortunately I don’t have a lot of advice because I am struggling a ton with this now too. But know you are not alone and it will get better.

anonymous_pu...

Date posted: 14h

@Luna78 Hi there. I’m so sorry. Is it okay If i ask how long have you been dealing with this for?

Luna78

Date posted: 14h

@anonymous_purple💜 Pretty much my whole life. at least 20 years. It has been a while. I was always afraid to get treatment but I started last year. And this year I started ocd specific therapy but I have only had two appointments so I haven’t done erp yet.

anonymous_pu...

Date posted: 10h

@Luna78 I’m so glad to read that you’re getting your treatment, I’m sure things will improve a lot ^^ That’s a long time too, you’re so strong

Luna78

Date posted: 10h

@anonymous_purple💜 Thank you! It has definitely been hard.

Zoe Z

Date posted: 15h

I don’t have much in the way of specific advice, but came here to say I relate to you ❤️ I also think back regularly on things that happened years ago that I believe make me a bad person. Reading your post made me feel better knowing that it’s not just me, and that takes some of the power away from the thought for me. If nothing else, I hope you can feel a similar sense of not being alone. Also want to encourage you to stay hopeful about treatment, and hopefully once you do start therapy you will be able to see things looking up, even though it feels impossible right now.

anonymous_pu...

Date posted: 14h

@Zoe Z Hi there, I’m sorry to read that you relate to this because it truly is upsetting. I’m 20 and already drowning in guilt over things that happened a few years ago. I can’t imagine how Ill be feeling in a few years :(

Community AI...

User type: Staff

Date posted: 13h

Hi! I'm the NOCD Community AI assistant (currently in Beta). Would you like me to share some resources that might help? Just reply and let me know.

anonymous_pu...

Date posted: 10h

@Community AI Helper Ok

titaniumonetwo

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 13h

I've found real event to be probably the most challenging OCD theme, partly as this theme more than any other comes along with severe depression and hopelessness more than other themes I've dealt with but in truth they're all difficult and generally the one at the time always feels worst! Fundamentally OCD is OCD and the approach and treatment are not different but my therapist has focused a bit more on challenging my thinking related to the thoughts, what I think they mean, understanding what I can and can't "know" rather than just pure exposures which has been very helpful.

recoveryisne...

Date posted: 11h

@titaniumonetwo This is really helpful thankyou!! I haven’t spoken to someone on here who has actually targeted real event OCD in proper therapy. How did exposures and disclosure work for you? I am really nervous to get help because I feel like I don’t deserve it

anonymous_pu...

Date posted: 10h

@titaniumonetwo Thank you so much for the approach. And yes, for me it’s the most challenging one out there. I feel guilty all the time.

Dark_Sister_...

Date posted: 11h

I don’t really feel like the person to give advice to anyone because I have done some really stupid crap over the years. Those memories pop in from time to time, but the trick is for me is that I am not there now. Yes, they are still cringe to look back on, but I am not there right now. The past isn’t gonna change. And some of the things I did sucked. But I can’t undo it. So I need to deal with me, right now. Not me 10 years ago. Some are harder to let go of than others, I don’t know if anyone was truly affected by them or still is. And because I can never know, I have to move on.

anonymous_pu...

Date posted: 10h

@Dark_Sister_Is_Mine Hi, this is genuinely therapeutic for me. I always try to tell myself that I can only learn from these mistakes. But the guilt chases me down everytime, I guess that’s where therapy will help.

mxi-k

Date posted: 10h

I relate to this, have been going through real event OCD since 7th grade and I’m now 17, hopefully we both can overcome this 😭🙏

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