Worried I have to give up my dream

My pocd is pretty much completely gone and has now changed to me worrying if I’m attracted to teens (specifically older like highschool teens) This is incredibly scary because I’m studying to be a teacher and I’m going into the schools for observation this upcoming semester. I’ve never been worried about this in my entire life. I’ve always been incredibly excited to work with middleschool and highschoolers and this fear never entered my mind before a few weeks ago. I know that everyone is just going to say that this is POCD in a different disguise but this time it feels so much more threatening (largely because some of the time you genuinely can’t tell when someone is 17 etc. because they look older) I’m constantly worried that someone I’ve found cute or handsome is underage and it’s killing me. I’m worried I’m going to have to give up my dream of being a teacher

myfunnyvalen...

Date posted: 20h

Remember, OCD goes against our true character! You wanting to help the community and provide the younger generation with education does not make you a bad person, despite the intrusive thoughts telling you that. I say keep going, don’t let OCD strip of your dream, it’s a bully! I used to avoid playing piano all the time because my OCD wouldn’t “allow me.” Now, I am on that piano at least every day. You can do this. The more you continue to expose yourself to the fear and sitting with, the more you will take control and put OCD in the background. A good analogy: YOU drive the car, OCD is just a passenger. And if it gets too demanding, send it to the backseat! 🤣 I believe you can get through this and achieve your dream. Never let OCD stop you from living the life you want!

Duck1310

Date posted: 20h

I would seek therapy here at NOCD if your not already, another helpful thing that I do is listened to is the Q&A episodes with Dr. Patrick McGrath and Dr. Jon Grayson, on youtube, they cover lots of topics and give awesome advice.

Catmom4

Date posted: 21h

I don’t personally experience this, but I don’t understand feeling like something really important to you is under attack. I often feel like I’m in fight or flight mode. It’s scary, but we will find a way through it. Avoiding it won’t make it go away.

Luna78

Date posted: 19h

I was in this exact situation. I was studying to be a teacher and I have pocd. It made me afraid to enter schools because I thought what if I was attracted to a student or looked at them inappropriately or touched them. I was terrified. I would always finding myself checking that I was not doing anything inappropriate and that everything was fine. But it is very hard and I can empathize. I even worked as a teacher this past year and still had these thoughts and fears. I was triggered everyday and I felt as though I was a monster and horrible person. Just try to remind yourself that OCD lies to you and makes you believe you are someone you aren’t. I know it is easier said than done but that is at least what I try to tell myself. I don’t think you have to give up your dream. It will be hard to go to a school either all of the triggers. It was for me. But don’t let it stop you from something you really want.

Plushii

Date posted: 17h

@Luna78 Thank you for responding as someone who is in the exact situation I’m in. Definitely reminds me that I’m not alone and that I have a mental illness. Thank you

Amy B.

Date posted: 19h

If you switch to something else your OCD might just go after that too. The best way past it is to get a good ERP therapist and go through it.

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