my ocd struggle

hi i just wanted to share my ocd story and just see if anyone can relate. i have a few so ill start with the health one. it started when i was nine. i had never experienced depression or anxiety etc. when i was visiting my mom due to divorce she had given my brother and i a pill. not for sure why but we took it. when i took it i choked on the pill resulting in my mom doing Heimlich maneuver. after that i literally felt like anytime i would swallow something i would choke leading me to be in the hospital because i was terrified. that’s when it went down hill where any ache, pain, dull, headache, even as far as doordashing and someone poisoning my food i just feel like im going to die all the time and it’s horrible that i can’t just have a simple headache without feeling like i’m have a brain bleed. or a pain down my arm is a heart attack. google is a trigger for me so i try to stay away so i don’t get sucked into a loop. next would be religion. this sounds silly but when i was younger i would go to sunday school and they got onto the topic of the end of the world and let’s just say it scared me so bad i didn’t go back. it seems unrealistic that i would fear this but oh my gosh people try to predict all the time to the point where i had to delete tik tok because everyone was just saying it was going to end. one specific incident was around september of last year someone said it was going to end (yes im aware only God knows when) i couldn’t sleep that night i constantly checked on my daughter to see if she was still there or had been taken. anytime i hear about the end i can’t let it go for weeks. another thing but i wont get into it because its really scary to me is the thought of eternity it makes me feel like i’ll pass out when i hear about it and i can’t stop thinking about it. i do very much believe in God but im scared my fear associated with it will cause me to not be saved and sometimes idk what scares me more. i have a intrusive thought everytime i get in the car with my family i think about us getting into a car accident no one every dies but everyone else is more injured then i am i hate that my mind does that. i just hope i can be in the car and not automatically think about my family getting hurt. my biggest thing is just the constant looping with all of these things. it’s hard for me to stop and let them go. i constantly need reassurance from others so i feel less crazy but i can see its taking a toll on others who don’t understand that i can’t stop. i just recently got diagnosed and honestly it felt like a huge relief having a name to it and understanding that i can get help for it. i’m going to start ESP but i’m nervous.