ROCD/ SO-OCD question

I think it depends how often you’re doing compulsions as well which ultimately will strengthen the cycle at times, it’s very difficult. sometimes i will run through affirmations in the moment i keep on my lock screen and it helps at times. therapy helps and meds too

I don't have a partner but I think about this all the time too. For me this results in avoiding dating. I was pretty avoidant before this too for other reasons but now I'm extremely closed off and avoid relationships at all costs or even having a simple conversation with a man because I'm scared that if I actually do start a relationship I won't be able to love him or desire him like I should. For me the anxiety has reduced almost completely after fully accepting the possibility of my fear. Also writing down my thoughts exactly as they show up in my brain and telling someone about my intrusive thoughts has helped reduce their power. They are a lot easier to manage with low anxiety, when they come I'm able to say maybe that will happen without too much distress although I still really hope it won't happen. I still have a lot of fear but the anxiety being almost gone makes it easier to move on with my day without focusing too much on the thoughts. And I try to give myself time and hope things will sort themselves out.

I’m not in a relationship currently but dealing with the falling out of a relationship with a man who I really wanted to end up with and envisioned a future with and now my Soocd is telling me that I’m gonna end up with one of my female friends that I don’t think I’m attracted or want to be attracted to and it makes it worse bc he would make fun of her to me bc she has alopecia. And I feel like some of it is the fear of becoming something that he would look down on or being someone that he judges or frowns upon or thinks he’s better than bc I already feel this way after losing him and hearing he’s seeing someone else

Yessss! This happened to me immediately after I got married and caused me so much distress for years. To be honest it just got to a point where I said I mean maybe I am gay maybe I am bi but I do know I care for this person and love them enough to be engaged /married. and you know what… THAT is enough. So what if you turn out to be gay? They will understand and survive and support you. So what if you might be bisexual? They will understand and survive and everything will be ok. So what if you don’t know what the future will bring at least you know in this moment you love them.