I ruined the relationship because of my flaws and it’s a living nightmare everyday. I relive all my mistakes and I no longer trust myself. I’m a terrible person that’s incapable of loving well
I promise the most important thing for you to do now is to learn to love yourself! I love you
Are you going through therapy and ERP? This will help you greatly in your relationships and everyday life. I know from experience that I t’s easy to get stuck in our own head. But having someone to talk to is truly a game changer!
@cNatDeFrn Yes I’m in therapy and doin erp. Nothing seems to help. I fear that I can’t make any mistake or be emotional if I want a partner to stay with me
Self-deprecation is not accountability. Going to therapy and working on becoming a better partner is. You don't need to hate yourself to love others.
@Coati I agree! I ago to therapy but I’m upset that I haven’t been able to show up perfectly in relationships. I understand my weak spots but it feels like I have to be almost perfect to keep a partner. I don’t know how to handle not being perfect enough right now..and if I happen to get there in the future I will just feel sad that I lost the person I never wanted to lose
I’m in a really similar boat . If you need to talk at all lmk 💓💓
@Firefly girl I’d love to chat❤️
@Anonymous Feel free to lay it on me!
@Firefly girl Basically I was blindsided and had no idea he was holding in resentment. I didn’t text fast enough, he felt boxed out and he doesn’t like that I take space to myself if I’m upset. He told me all this and said it was shocking immature behavior- he tried to breakup with me before I could mitigate but then he retracted the breakup. The next few days he was affirming me through text and I was just frozen. I was terrified by what went down so I texted him that I didn’t know what to say yet (I did that for two days) then came back and told him how I wanted to work on things. The next day he broke up with me for real. It has destroyed me and I can’t stop thinking about everything I could have done differently. I feel like I’m not good at loving now
@Anonymous I’m so sorry that’s the worst being blindsided. You should be allowed to take space to yourself in a relationship. I don’t think it’s immature to need that, maybe he just felt like he needed more communication? But he should’ve communicated that himself. It sounds like he was threatened by your distance and made the choice of frustration to regain control. I totally feel you on thinking about all the things you could do differently . I definitely feel that in my situation and it makes it really hard to let go . I wish I had more advice to give but just know you’re not alone in this experience . I have been on and off with this for a while, partly due to my OCD, but I remember the first time that we ever broke up after being together officially. I was so blindsided so I totally know the feeling and how hard it can be to process that emotionally but just because someone else didn’t communicate something, does not mean you deserve to take all the blame, which is something I’m trying to remind myself. Only in my situation I wonder if I just wasn’t hearing him and he was trying to communicate to me. But anyways. We have two different situations . I’m so sorry you’re going through this 💔
@Firefly girl I agree and I totally hate myself for not being able to meet that need for closeness..I just needed time to get there. I appreciate your comment❤️. I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through it too..I know that feeling of wondering if your partner did actually communicate and you just missed it. That is hard thought to let go of. Sending you a big hug.
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
