No control over drunk

I’m not a therapist, but I can understand what you’re talking about, I think. The thoughts that you have cannot cause or prevent anything bad happening, regardless of if you forget what they are or not. You’re okay, everything that OCD is saying (and what you are trying to tell it in response) does not mean anything and will not fix anything. It sounds like OCD is really torturous for you right now. The intense anxiety and the lessening of it with OCD will make you feel like there is a real and tangible threat you have to solve or make sure doesn’t happen. I’d recommend not drinking or smoking for a while (if you do any of that) and involve yourself in a different activity that requires focus and attention. If your OCD urges you to think back and try and make sure of something, try to bring your attention back to what you’re doing when you recognize an intrusive thought. You aren’t trying to get rid of the thought, but instead to just not engage with it. All of what you are describing is coming from OCD, nothing more. I’m reassuring you now, but you won’t have reassurance always. You will learn from your own resistance to OCD that what it makes you fear losing control over was never really in your control to begin with and nothing bad happens the way OCD makes you fear that it will. If you haven’t reached out to your family yet to check if they’re okay, a good exercise might be to not reach out to check and instead let yourself feel the fear and uncertainty as an exposure. It feels real, but it is just chemical reactions in your brain and nervous system.