I think I am a source of pain to my mom right now

I have been on a kick lately with trying not to hide my ocd so much and to not be so dismissive about it. As a result, I plan to go back to therapy. Because of this I had to let my mom back in on the disorder a bit which I knew would be difficult because the last time we had really talked about it was three years ago when I had a really bad episode, and unlike many of my other episodes where I was able to hide my severe symptoms, we were on vacation so I was right next to her all the time. That really scared her and she did not react well to it. Last thursday,I told her a bit of generic facts about the disorder, that I was doing very good and had made great progress to where I am now living a normal life, and showed her some nocd videos about treatment. I thought it would soften it to come from the calming nocd videos, but it did not. She has been different since we talked last Thursday. I am beginning to think that this combined with my move to college soon is making me a source of pain for her right now, and that makes me just want to leave the house and find something to do during the day for a while so I don't cause anymore pain

Dannyr

Date posted: Yesterday

Even if you’re causing her pain, you aren’t selfish for trying to talk to your mother about OCD. She is supposed to support you, I understand she’s probably scared but you are the one with OCD, the one who should be listened to by her, I definitely don’t think you have done anything wrong. If you can, speak to her, and ask why she’s different now she knows.

JS55555

Date posted: Yesterday

Thank you! It got much better today, but we will see what happens when I have to bring it up that I want to go back to therapy

BennyWithOCD

Date posted: Yesterday

Been in a similar situation to this. Can’t speak for everyone, but my situation got better. I knew that no matter how much she didn’t understand my condition, dismissed it as a “choice” at first, and occasionally got mad, she still was my mom and loved me more than anything. The fact that this scares your mom is proof that she loves you so much, and worries about you. It would cause her so much more pain to know that you’re feeling this way about not being open with her. When talking about it with your mom, simply be open. Ask her to be open and understanding, even if it’s very hard for her. It’s like watching a sitcom and saying to yourself “why is no one being open with each other?”. You can choose to be open, even if it’s difficult and doesn’t seem like the safe choice. Hope my input brings you a little peace, warm regards.

JS55555

Date posted: Yesterday

Thank you! I do know that she cares about me. And that is a great thing about sitcoms. My new years resolution for 2024 was to be more open and not bounce around things and I did a decent job at that for a while but I think fell off for a bit

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

As a mom I can tell you that it is scary when your kids are going through things that you might not understand. Is it also possible that your mom suffers from OCD as well and this is part of her rumination? I spend a lot of time worrying about my kids - it’s just another manifestation of my OCD.

JS55555

Date posted: Yesterday

Sorry to hear that. She definitely has something going on like this. She does have anxiety sometimes. I do wonder if she has the disorder because it is often hereditary. I am pretty sure my dad does because my grandma took him to the doctor because he couldn't stop washing his hands when he was little.

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond